Thursday, 22nd March, 2018

Congress now accuses Ramdev of promoting Shiv Sena

11, May 2014 By anishk

The Indian National Congress (INC) – fresh out of accusing NaMo for his unusual poll antics- on Friday turned its fury towards spiritual leader and Yoga “sensation” : Baba Ramdev.

“This is just not acceptable. We seek urgent intervention by the EC,” said AICC general secretary and senior Congress spokesperson Mukul Wasnik.

Centre of controversy
Centre of controversy

When our senior news correspondent sought to elicit a more categorical response from the veteran Congress leader, Mr. Wasnik quietly removed an A0 size poster – seemingly folded over eight times to fit in his white pajama- and spoke out vehemently, “Just have a closer look at this poster of Babaji performing Kapaalbhati. Just as Babaji breathes to takes his belly deep in, we are able to witness the Shiv Sena poll symbol, of a bow and arrow, being formed in the abdomen region. Performing this aasana during the wee hours of the poll day invokes gross violation of the model code of conduct .”

“This is the divine power our Guru possesses. Guruji has starved for 10 long years to be able to get his belly that deep in. Only when one breathes in for just a shade over 56 seconds can the Kapaalbhati be rendered successful,” Mr. Chatur Yogi, a staunch Baba supporter, retorted with a visible frown on his face.

Surprisingly, the BJP seemed to distance itself from the entire Ramdev controversy. In a hurried statement issued just minutes after we broke out the story, the saffron party stated, ” The BJP has always asked its supporters to stay away from Kapaalbhati during the poll season as it invokes a tingling sensation in the tummy. We therefore have no contention to make on this sensitive issue.”

This issue suddenly gained national importance as Mamata Banerjee- the veteran Trinamool leader-while addressing a rally in the 24 Paraganas district of West Bengal , gave a caste spin to the entire issue and said, ” I will bring Poribortan in the way Kapaalbhati is performed. This aasana denigrates people of the lower castes. It reveals to the world how poorly these people are nourished.”

In the midst of all the pandemonium, we managed to rope in Mr.Pappu Astrewaala, the local hair stylist, for a quick response. His eccentric view on the entire saga left us stultified.

“If not fair play, it is certainly hair-play,” he said. “The news of Babaji deliberately invoking a poll symbol in his belly is utter nonsense. If you wish, I can put on display the symbols of at least 6 parties on my belly at any time of the day. It’s just witty hair management,” he asserted.

Meanwhile, the party in the center of the storm, the Shiv Sena, has refuted all the allegations. It conducted a massive survey of 1542 Mumbaikars, showing each one of them a 30 sec clip of the controversial Ramdev aasana and concluded that of the 1542 surveyed, a whopping 1539 were able to figure out the bow and arrow symbol in Ramdev’s belly. But to their own surprise, only 10 of them knew that the bow and arrow symbol was actually of the Shiv Sena.

“The rest 1529 must have been non-Marathis and migrant labourers,” said Mr.Wagh,a senior Sena leader.