Saturday, 22nd July, 2017

Congress launches noiseless firecrackers to counter 'Kejriwal Bomb'

04, Nov 2013 By Teekha Reporter

New Delhi: In an effort to neutralize growing popularity and sales of ‘Kejriwal Bomb‘ before Diwali this season, Congress has launched its own ‘noiseless’ range of firecrackers with pictures of Manmohan Singh depicted on it. They are branded as ‘MuteBurst‘ and will be heavily subsidized by the state government in order to make it reach every poor home of Delhi.

Since Diwali is just a couple of days away, many CWG contractors are roped in to speed-up production of these firecrackers. Suresh Kalmadi has been asked to supervise and ensure timely delivery of this essential commodity to Delhi citizens.

Manmohan Bomb Vs Kejriwal Bomb: Tough Fight.

Manmohan Bomb Vs Kejriwal Bomb: Tough Fight.

In an inaugural function to launch these eco-friendly firecrackers, chief ministerial candidate of Congress, Shiela Dixit said, “Delhi is a world class city with so many flyovers and bungalows. These Barsaati Keeda and Guttersnipes have come out with these polluting bombs to disturb communal harmony and ethos of the city. We therefore launched our own ‘secular bombs‘ to save Delhi from these corrupt crooks.”

10 truckloads of these eco-friendly firecrackers were flagged-off by Rahul Gandhi in the presence of many Congress big-wigs including prime minister Manmohan Singh, whose picture was depicted on all these MuteBursts firecrackers. Manmohan Singh refused to say anything, but when pressed by Faking News reporter ‘Indian Casanova’, he said – “Theek Hai“.

BJP has reacted furiously to this development. Outgoing BJP chief ministerial candidate Vijay Goel told faking news on condition of anonymity, “We have no objections to launching these subsidized bombs, but it would have been more appropriate to brand them with pictures of Harshwardhan, who has been named as BJP Ka Manmohan by Kejriwal himself.”

Meanwhile, Delhi citizens are clueless on how to burst these firecrackers, since they don’t have a fuse at all. Unconfirmed sources leaked that there is a secret remote control lying in 10, Janpath in the custody of an unknown person. Button will be pressed on the day Delhi election results are announced.