Friday, 20th April, 2018

Congress declares L.K. Advani as leader of opposition

23, May 2014 By nrisheru

New Delhi: Drubbed and decimated in the recent Lok-Sabha elections, Congress, in an unprecedented move  today, declared Mr. L.K. Advani as the leader of the opposition in the newly to-be-formed Lok Sabha. This news came as a surprise to many but many were not unmoved by the development.

LK Advani
Advani couldn’t control his happiness after UPA’s announcement.

Explaining the declaration, Congress major embarrassment in-charge and party spokesperson Digvijay Singh said – “After the humiliation of the results we were left with this herculean task of forming a coalition to be able to recognized as the ‘Opposition’ of the parliament. Our numbers were not adequate and we were feeling shame in approaching other parties and asking them to come together and form an Opposition with us. The tally of our allies like NCP, SP,RJD is even less than the number of people used to gather in our leaders’ rallies in the recently concluded election. Then we sat together and thought about it ( hey, not for who to blame for this debacle, we have already put the blame on outgoing PM Mr. Manmohan Singh and like past 10 years we expect him not to speak against this too). Then somebody came up with this brilliant idea of naming Advani as Leader of Opposition. I mean look at the way he has opposed Narendra Modi in last 8 months, be it Modi’s elevation as Campaign Committee chief, be it his Prime Ministerial candidature or refusing to fight elections from Gujarat.”

Mr. Singh continued confidently, ” Mr Advani’s last eight month opposition to Mr. Modi is greater than the total opposition we could provide to him in last 12 years of his Gujarat rule. We already have Mr. Kejriwal to oppose him outside parliament and if we could have Mr. Advani in the parliament then it won’t be a smooth ride for Mr. Modi.”

When asked about what role senior Congress leaders going to play in opposing Modi, Mr. Singh exhorted – “After talking nonsense and defending the first family of Congress for almost 10 years, i am going nuts. I need to get myself checked from a foreign psychiatrist so i am going on a vacation and so are other Congress spokesperson. And actually we can afford a break since Mr. Kejriwal would be around to check Modi.”

When asked from Mr. Sanjay Jha that why can’t Smt. Sonia Gandhi or Mr. Rahul Gandhi be Leader of Opposition, he replied – ” You very well know Smt. Gandhi doesn’t speak Hindi and Mr. Modi doesn’t understand English. And Leader of Opposition role requires a lot of speaking whereas Smt. Gandhi is in a habit of working with help of a whip. Mr. Rahul Gandhi was so dedicatedly working for the party, country, youth , women empowerment, dalits etc. that he has forgotten to marry. So now that he is free from all responsibilities it is time for getting some personal work done. Plus he is already 43, this is a high time he should get married. Not all have luck like Mr. Digvijay Singh has. And this is in a way will be a contribution to the nation. He should marry and soon have children and start razing the new generation of Gandhi members who would be future PMs Leaders.

However Faking News could not get the confirmation from the patriarch himself. As told to us, Mr. Advani was busy doing some push-ups and getting ready to take up the challenge. When BJP leaders were contacted to explain the development, party president Mr. Rajnath said – ” He has been our internal opposition leader for many years now. We all respect him. We all are concerned about his health. Considering his age, I hope he won’t shout too much and does not collapse in the parliament. It would be better if he takes Jaswant Singh, Murli Manohar Joshi and Sushma Swaraj with him. Then it would be strong opposition to our government.”