As repeatedly said by the party spokespersons, the congress party analyzed their situation and after deep introspection, have found the single biggest reason for losing the recent elections in 4 states.
It is not the Modi wave, AAP factor, corruption, economic problems, inflation etc as common sense would suggest. They said that common sense is reserved for the common man and is not there for the royal Rahul & family. They further revealed that they have lost these elections because Rahul jee forgot to “roll up his sleeves” one night before the results and that took away all their good luck.
While talking to our FN correspondent on the issue, Congress spokesman Rajiv Shukla said that Modi factor or anti-incumbency cannot possibly lead BJP to a 4/5th majority in Rajasthan or 3/4th majority in MP. Modi is a small local leader creating unnecessary noise and anti-incumbency is just a state of mind of apple mango people. As with all other big scams things in India, this thing also has to have an association with the Gandhi’s. Pappu Rahul jee is the most popular leader of not just this country but the whole universe and as he forgot to “Roll up his sleeves”, the universal luck forces turned against Congress.
Rahul Gandhi when caught running from the dias bravely speaking for himself added that” Modi wave or Anna movement” are completely nonsense things and should be torn down like a Beehive and thrown away with Jupiter’s velocity. When asked to explain the meaning of his comment, he said that he has learned it from his Daadi and that he isn’t scared of any losses and then left the conference in a hurry.
In a related development, the Congress parliamentary board has now decided to appoint 60 additional guards to keep a 24X7 watch on his sleeves and ensure that they are rolled up all the time. These guards will work closely with the existing 3000 guards for Rahul jee. The congress has said that Rahul jee bought this “game changing” idea of increasing employment in India and it has gained immense popularity with in few hours of its launch.
Also, Congress has decided to launch Rahul Gandhi “Rolled Sleeves” yojna under which the aged youths of the country will be distributed free full sleeves Kurta’s but with permanently rolled up sleeves. Govt will spend a miniscule amount of Rs 30000 crores to import textile machinery from Italy for manufacturing of these special Kurta’s. The Govt. has also decided to ban sale of half sleeves Kurta’s across India as Modi is using them for anti-secular activities.
Sanjay Jha said that this will allow the youths across the country to connect better with Sh. Sh. Sh. Sh. Rahul Jee Jee Jee Jee. He added that owing to his dynamic personality and contribution to Indian politics, even Sh. Sh. Sh. Ravi Shankar has decided to give away few Sh. Sh. Sh. to Rahul Jee, but the credit for adding Jee Jee Jee Jee goes to him and him only.
Additionally, rolling up sleeves will now become a regular exercise for all congress workers and other chaatu senior members of the party. By introducing this, they plan to combat RSS culture. An experienced and international galactic level leader of Congress Diggyjay Singh said that “RSS has duped the country by introducing exercising culture and they are only using it to promote terrorism”.
However, as always Rahul Jee has come to the rescue with his ground breaking “Roll Sleeves” exercise. In future, this will become a compulsory fitness exercise in all the Schools across India so that the little babies of India can connect better with the father of their future leader. Mr. Singh added that promoting this exercise in schools was his and his idea only for which he has also filed a patent. The patent office confirmed the receipt of Mr. Singh’s application for “Rahul Gandhi chamcha most innovative patent of India” award for which Mr Jha is also applying.
Congress has also decided to reinvent their party logo by adding Rahul jee forearm (which he brings up after rolling up sleeves) to their existing logo of just a simple palm. This is another revolutionary effort to transform the Congress party.