Thursday, 22nd March, 2018

Coming up next: subsidised currency notes

23, Jan 2014 By ankitanks

Inspired by the increasing coverage of subsidies by news channels, and also to counter AAP’s similar strategy, Congress has decided to subsidise currency notes. Soon, people below poverty line (which is being revised again) will only have to pay Rs. 6 for a Rs. 10 note.

Digvijay Singh said in his press conference “We are racing against time to fulfil our earlier scheme of directly transferring money to the poor. We were accused of lowering the poverty line and misrepresenting facts. Then we suddenly realized that this problem will be immediately solved if we subsidize the notes. Now everyone will come above poverty line, no matter how high it is”.

Congress core group meeting
Meeting where it was all decided.

Asked where the money for the subsidy will come from, he replied that it would be costless as the RBI would simply be directed to print more Rs. 10 notes.

Meanwhile AAP’s new spokesperson certified honest spokesperson declared “Its our success. We came here to change the way political parties work, and we have done it”.

BJP declared that it is a proof that AAP and congress had a backdoor understanding. However, it denied saying anything against the scheme because it feared being tagged anti-poor.

However, an NGO has declared an indefinite hunger strike, claiming that, it is expected that all the forests in India together wont be enough for the paper that the notes would need.

Previously, asking how will it know when someone has crossed the poverty line and become rich as a result of the scheme, an AAP leader had said “Only people with honest background should be given the benifit of this scheme. Otherwise, people will continue misusing it forever even after they become rich. Therefore, the benifit should only be given to AAP members and volunteers because everyone knows that only they are honest”. BJP disagreed “Everyone knows that money given to AAP is money given to congress, because AAP is its B-team. And also, all chaiwalas who have joined BJP have no corruption charges against them. BJP members alone should be given the scheme.”

However finally, after a flurry of dharna-before-republic-day threats and other backdoor talks, it was decided that everyone would be given the benifit of the scheme.