Tuesday, 24th April, 2018

BJP's all-out strategy to woo sex workers

18, Mar 2014 By Arvind Modi

New Delhi: As the general election draws closer, the political parties have started intensifying their campaigning efforts. But the BJP has stolen the limelight with its innovative approaches and the latest strategy is going to be a historic one!

Our sources have confirmed that after the huge success of ‘Namo Tea’ and ‘NaMo Fish’, the BJP Core Committee has been seriously thinking of launching ‘NaMo Condom’ before the party PM candidate’s rally at Sonagachi in West Bengal. Even party workers have been specifically trained to win the support of sex-workers all over the country by narrating the journey of NaMo from a condom-retailer to be the PM candidate!

A senior party leader having full knowledge of the party’s preparations for the rally has, on condition of anonymity, provided some exciting information about NaMo’s speech to be delivered at the rally. NaMo will speak at length how he shot to fame by sincerely selling condoms at the RSS meetings. He is going to reveal, for the first time, how inflating condoms by mouth as a hobby helped him build his 56-inch chest! He is also going to promise the sex-workers wide growth opportunities by allowing a full 100% FDI in the sector! Apart from this, NaMo is going to put forth the proposal of changing the names of the colonies of sex-workers from “Red Light Districts” to “Green Light Districts” in order to increase traffic!

Even there are rumors that the party is seriously considering on building a Kamdev Temple in the heart of Sonagachi to attract tourists. When we tried to get a confirmation on this from NaMo himself by calling his personal phone number, a guy, who only revealed his last name as Ambani, answered the call and asked us to call some other time as the leader was about to board a chartered flight to attend an electoral rally.

All our further efforts to contact NaMo bore no fruit as every time we got the computerized reply- “The Hindu nationalist you are trying to call is busy building a Hindu nation.”