Wednesday, 21st March, 2018

BJP to use next gen drones in election campaigns

04, Dec 2013 By richierich

Amazed by Amazon Prime Air demo to use unmanned drones for delivering products within 30 minutes of placing the order, BJP has declared that they will be deploying drones for campaigning in the upcoming elections.

Don't get shocked.
BJP agent.

The campaigning in Delhi has already ended, so BJP is getting ready for the next phase of elections.  Modi Ji and Rajnath Ji have taken the responsibility to spearhead the drone campaign.

According to sources, a drone will land in your balcony at 8 AM in the morning. It is expected that you might be preparing tea/coffee or doing, as Salman Khan says in Big Boss: “Do what you want to do”, chores around this time. A small 10 minute campaign audio will then be played loudly, thereby giving you a chance to dance in your house in Big Boss style, after which the drone will head to the next balcony.

According to sources, BJP has also tied up with Google to use the beta version of Google Glasses in the campaign. Whenever Glass detects AAP or Congress campaigns taking place nearby, it will land in the neighboring colony and start playing the national anthem to divert attention from the competitors’ campaign. Within these 52 seconds, the workers from the nearest cell of BJP will come to the venue to take charge. Shri Vijay Jolly, who is well known to perform acts at the spur of the moment, has been given the charge to lead the (disruption) campaign.

Meanwhile, the Election Commission has declared that unlike the FAA, it is already prepared with a set of rules for drone campaigning. There are only three rules:

  1. Drones must occupy the time zones allotted to Kingfisher airlines to avoid rescheduling flights of other airlines
  2. Drone campaigning cannot come under RTI as the source & destination of their journey will be kept confidential
  3. The videos recorded by Google Glass fixed on drones cannot be uploaded on YouTube. This was added on recommendation of the Delhi Metro Rail Corporation to avoid love-in-the-air videos being uploaded to shady websites thereafter.

Arvind Kejriwal was unavailable for comment while Sheila Dixit has reserved her comments. Only Vijay Jolly was available whom we asked not to comment but continue playing with colors. On being asked for comments, Dr. Kumar Vishwas from AAP, found another opportunity to read one of his kavitas and instantly said:

“hamein do pal surere ishq main madhosh rehne do, zehn ki seedhiyain utro aama yeh josh rehne do,

tumhe kehte the yeh masle nazar suljhi to suljhenge, nazar ki baat hai to phir yeh lab khamosh rehne do”

At the time of writing, analysts from BJP & Congress were busy decoding the meaning of Kumar’s words wrt the ongoing election campaign.