Monday, 19th March, 2018

Ban on Maggi an RSS conspiracy as noodles look like Arabic script: Rahul Gandhi

05, Jun 2015 By thekhagan

Coming down hard on RSS, Rahul launched a blistering attack on the organization with his brilliant logic (yet again). “Maggi, when uncooked and cooked, resembles Arabic script. RSS does not like that and hence they have banned it,” said an agitated Rahul.

Taking out a pack in a hastily organized conference, where poor Ajay Maken was supposed to speak, Rahul tore out the plastic to reveal the object of his discovery – uncooked Maggi noodles.

Beaming, just the way he was when Congress lost the elections, he exclaimed, “See!! and all of you think I am a moron. See! I am so right!!”

As cursive as Arabic, and thus RSS doesn't like them, claims Rahul Gandhi
As cursive as Arabic, and thus RSS doesn’t like them, claims Rahul Gandhi

Proceeding to cook the noodle in the conference itself, he showed how individual noodles resembled Arabic script.

“We at congress and NSUI are convinced that minorities need our protection from this ghastly RSS and BJP conspiracy to denude India of its Arabic heritage. I will fight for this till the end and swear that all in UPA will eat Maggi from now on as a mark of our protest,” the Maggi eating youth icon declared.

Elaborating further, he said that this was an attack on all minorities minorities, as the red heart of Maggi logo resembles the Holy Heart of Christians.

“RSS does not like that. I know that for sure, because they only eat Top Ramen because it does not have a logo like that,” he explained.

He was accompanied by his usual servants – Sanjay Jha, someone from Kerala who competes with Jha on being more stupid on talks shows, Diggi, Kapil (writing a poem in Arabic script), Chidu, Vadra, and Anand Sharma who was busy poking needles in a Modi doll.

Rahul also announced that he will start a new tradition in Congress called “2 minute protests”.

He said that since all Congressis usual have an attention span of 5 seconds, they can sustain anything for about 2 minutes and no more, so he thought of this idea. He also said that he will start wearing yellow kurtas with Maggi logo on the chest, and called it his legacy to India. “My great grandfather gave us the Nehru jacket, I give you the Maggi Kurta,” he said.

Ajay Maken was found cleaning up after Rahul and his entourage left for Maggi lunch at a Dalit’s house.