Monday, 23rd April, 2018

Azam Khan upset about his buffalo being assaulted by Mulayam's bull

18, Jun 2014 By Desi Politicker

Azam Khan held a press conference today and alleged that one of his buffaloes was sexually assualted by a bull belonging to Mulayam Singh Yadav.  The incident allegedly happened when the buffalo wandered off Azam Khan’s property and entered the neigbouring property, which is owned by Mulayam Singh Yadav.

Scared victim climbed up the roof.
Scared victim climbed up the roof.

Note that we are not disclosing the identity of the buffalo to protect her privacy.

We tried contacting Mulayam Singh Yadav, but he refused to respond despite our repeated attempts. We did catch him at a public rally where he made the highly insensitive statement “Bulls will be bulls.”  We all agree that that is a lot of bull.

Azam Khan was livid “Humaari bhaison ne bhi watan ke liye khoon bahaaya hai. Kya inka khoon khoon nahi? Kaise aap inka haq aise chheen sakte ho?” (Our buffaloes have shed their blood for the country. Isn’t their blood blood? How can you take away their rights?)

Abu Azmi however was quick to jump in on the discussion. He said “This is a result of buffaloes straying away from religion.” Our correspondent observed that all the buffalo had strayed from was Azam Khan’s farm. And that there is no evidence to indicate that this was not consensual.

Nonetheless, Azmi continued “Any buffalo caught with a bull should be stoned to death. And their DNA should be tested for loyalty and virginity.” This led to an obvious outrage among twitterati, who protested by typing extra-hard on their keyboards when tweeting from their air-conditioned offices.

Now both Yadav and Khan are sulking and there is no end in sight to this stalemate.

In what is becoming an embarrassing episode for the Massage-wadi party, efforts are on to patch up the strained relationship between Khan and Yadav. We will keep you posted as the situation evolves.