Monday, 26th June, 2017

As the list of eligible people grows, Govt mulls auctioning Bharat Ratna

12, Aug 2014 By Shaitaan Khopdi ™

New Delhi: In less than 100 days at office, Modi government has impressed people with its zeal to bring positive changes in the system. Latest in the series could be the process of giving civilian awards and honors. Govt  has reportedly taken note of a Faking News report published last year and now planning to auction Bharat Ratna on the similar lines. This ensures that everybody gets some or the other award, and nobody is left sulking. In a way it will be an extension of their pre-poll promise ‘Sabka Sath Sabka Vikas’.

Modi Advani
Govt making the announcement of auctions

The ball was set to rolling when news of 5 Bharat Ratna awards being given away this year got leaked. As soon as the controversy starved media got the whiff of it they latched on the story like a drowning person would cling on to a rope. While news channels started speculating on the names being considered, opposition and other parties have voluntarily started suggesting names of people who align with their respective ideologies.

BJP cabinet minister Ravi Shankar Prasad told Faking News “We thought that people were busy with #SupportGaza thing and won’t care much about Indians that supported India, so giving away few awards will be no big deal. But with the Independence day approaching, people’s focus shifted back and  annual surge of patriotism gripped them.”

As Congress party has started remembering people it conveniently ignored for 60 years, other parties also started suggesting whatever names came in their mind. “It is a conspiracy by Congress. They know that Modi ji is weak in history, so they are purposefully suggesting the names of freedom fighters. Their plan is to hold a discussion in parliment and make Mr Modi answer why a certain historical figure is not getting the Bharat Ratna. Given the number of days for which Parliament works full day, it will take us 5 years to finish discussing all 157 names that have come up during last 3 days. We hardly have 3 months in hand”, Prasad continued. When Shaitaan Khopdi™ asked why only 3 months, Prasad looked around carefully and said in hushed tone “State elections are coming in October”.

When asked if Dhyanchand’s name also features in the list of 157 people govt is considering, Prasad said “No no… what are you talking about? First let him get clean chit from Jaipur court”. We clarified that we are talking about Major Dhyanchand; the hockey legend, and not the Union Minister Nihalchand, Prasad checked the list carefully and said “As I see, no party or NGO has suggested his name till now. May be 3 years later when UP elections are due, we will consider his name.”