Thursday, 22nd March, 2018

Arvind Kejriwal's diary

31, Jul 2014 By Cruiser

(Entry July 29, 2014)

Dear Diary,

Sorry for not being able to update you daily. I promise to atleast make fortnightly updates from now onwards. Sorry haan?

Today, with a heavy heart and a lump in my throat, I have vacated the Tilak Lane Bungalow allotted to me as CM of Delhi.

Well-manicured lawns, 24 Hour electricity and water supply, early morning chirp of birds of various kinds made the time spent here, a dream time indeed! But all good things must come to end they say! Almost every day I used to curse Kaaloo, the crow, who used to land his shit-load on my Blue Alto. But I must say, I would miss Kaloo and his crap, a lot now!

Yes it is true that I had resigned as CM of Delhi on February 14th and should have vacated this beautiful house by March 01st, 2014.

Dear Diary, I stubbornly ignored every barb, every dig taken at me over this bungalow issue, but as you know I share everything with you. Fact is, it was so comfortable and such a beautiful, gorgeous life here in Lutyens Delhi!

Each time I thought of going back to our Ghaziabad apartment, my knees shook, a weakness took over mywhole body and the sugar level shot up drastically higher. To stay put here, I first cited daughter’s exams as the reason for not vacating this house. Folks on Twitter-FB can be extremely cruel and as soon as Harshita’s Board exams were over in March, they started taunting me as to why I was not vacating the bungalow now?

Politics, I have realized, is not for the soft skinned and I myself have become a tough nut by now I would say. I ignored the barbs and attacks on me on the Social Media completely.

End of March, one day Yogendra Yadav Ji, reminded me in his snake like leechad-hissing voice that Harshita’s Board exams were over and in view of murmurs of protests within AAP, I should consider vacating the house immediately. Brilliance struck me like a flash of lightening and I said I had never meant Board Exams Yadav Ji! I had always meant IIT-JEE entrance exams. I don’t think Yogendra Yadav was convinced one bit as I clearly noticed him leaving my bungalow, dragging his feet like a tired eight month pregnant woman with overweight twins inside!

Month of May 2014 it was and Yadav Ji, once again, landed at my place, reminding me that IIT-JEE exams were over too. I actually chided him for his ignorance and told him IIT-Jee wasn’t the only competitive exam and Harshita needs to give 16 more exams to ensure a good Engineering seat for her.

Salim Miyaan, better known to world as Yogendra Yadav, can be one hell of a pestering bloodhound and June 2014 meant, he was back, at my doors with a dabba of cheap, smelly Boondi Laddoos! He congratulated me in that cheap, Prem Chopra kind of lisp voice, “Mubaarak ho Arvind! Harshita Bitiya has cracked cracked IIT-JEE!”

God! I swear I wanted to punch and kick this man as I precisely knew, why exactly he had come to me. Seriously I mean!

arvind kejriwal 2

Manish Sisodia and Gopal Rai had informed me that as per law, I could stay here but would have to pay Rs. 80,000 a month then. I was taken aback because always I had heard that leaders of Congress-SP-BJP stay put in the Government bungalows for many years and nothing ever happens to them.

Shazia Ilmi, who was then with us, blabbered that we are different, we are honest and so if I stay here, I should pay the monthly rent!

In my heart I said, “Beimaan, chotti kaheen ki! You yourself haven’t paid your electricity bill dues and want me to pay 80,000 bucks a month.” Once they left, I even googled out and bookmarked the web-link about Shazia’s ‘honesty’!

My precise problem was, I didn’t work anywhere, and Sunita, my wife, receives only 38,920 Rupees per month after various deductions, 80,000 P.M. was indeed a sum beyond our reach!

Finally, we found a way out! It was agreed that Sisodia would pay my rent of 80,000 per month from Party funds and I would whisper to couple of friendly journalists that some of my ‘friends’ were paying my monthly rent.

Gopal Rai convinced me to ignore every unfavourable Tweet / Facebook comment like a tough buffalo or Rajdeep Sardesai or Sanjay Jha! He assured me that by and large, Media towed Congress line, and as AAP suited and helped Congress in every manner, no one would press the question as to WHO, these ‘friends’ of mine were!

Gopal was 100% right. No one from Media has ever questioned me about identity of my ‘friends’ paying my Rs. 80000 per month rent. Hehehehehe!

Shazia is no more with AAP and that is OK. I have reached a conclusion that Delhi, for long cannot be under Lieut. Governor’s rule and elections will be announced here sooner than later. In an ideal world, Congress’s handful of MLAs should come forward and help me become CM of Delhi once again but inspite of positive developments backdoor, things are not moving forward as they should.

All factors considered I think moving out of bungalow at this stage, will score a solid point and many voters can be sold the line that Kejriwal paid market rent with help of his friends and vacated in 6 months. Yes, good idea I think. Media does not ask me and Social Media I give a damn! But I admit, I hate to see Yogendra Yadav’s face suggesting to me vacating the bungalow asap. I might as well do it before he lands with another cheap laddoo or soggy-smelly Barfi dabba. Chhee!


Ashutosh came this afternoon and updated me on riots at Saharanpur! I gave him a patient hearing and asked him what was the point he was trying to make? Ashutosh flashed 8 of his front teeth and said AAP followers want you to take a clearm bold stand on the Saharanpur riots! I told him I will tweet,” Eid Mubarak to all Indians.”

Stubborn fellow,  said NO, people are expecting you to make a categorical statement pinpointing the blame on troublemakers! Sometimes I wonder how a stubborn jug head like Ashutosh could become a journalist ever? He doesn’t even understand the basics!

Arey Bhai, Muslims are  heavy voters of AAP and would vote for AAP whenever BJP is in electoral fray! Sikhs of Punjab have voted FOUR of our candidates to Parliament. How can I upset any of the two?

Heyyy! I just figured out who to blame for Saharanpur riots! Adani and Ambani! Hehehehe!

OK Diary, feel Sleepy now. Till next time-Shabba Khair!

Yours only,

Arvind Kejriwal