Monday, 18th December, 2017

Anna Dakare to give up Bhookh Hartal?

04, Apr 2015 By frustmanoos

In a change of practice from the past, Social activist Anna Dakaare has announced his intention to renounce the Bhookh Hartal as a means of protest against the government. Anna said that he realized that Bhookh Hartal was a useless form of protest while planning his anti government demonstrations for the next decade. Our reporter, Jiddi Koodadan (JK) from Paid News Network (PNN) spoke to Anna Dakare (AD) at his residence.

JK: Anna, I am very happy to meet you at you residence. Since the last time I met you, I can see that you have installed new ACs… Wow! Is that the latest Hyosung GT250R motorbike?

AD: अरे बेटी। ये हमारे चेले चपाटे हैं ना … They don’t listen… One AC was gifted by Jokendra Yadav, another by, Bhraanti Dooshan… and that पोट्टा Mufflerman… He gifted me that motorbike when he became the CM..

JK: Good to hear that your friends remember you Anna. There is an interesting report that says that you are forsaking the Bhookh hartal?

AD: Yes beti… I will no longer sit on a Bhookh hartal. I think it is a very unfashionable thing. And plus, Bhookh hartal is good only if done once in a while… You know beti, this Modi government is very bad… even worse than the Dhongress one… यहाँ पर I will need to sit on protest almost every week…. If I do a Bhookh hartal every week… I will only become weak… Then who will carry on my business of Bhookh hartal??

Anna Hazare
Not Anna Dakare

JK: That is a very good point Anna. But then, how do you plan to protest?

AD: बेटी भूख हड़ताल से कुछ नहीं होता… इतने दिन भूख हड़ताल करके भी मौनमोहन सिंह के मुँह से आवाज़ तक नहीं निकलवा पाया… Actually, Bhookh Hartal is harmful to our cause and is beneficial to the government.

JK: Beneficial to the government? How Mr. Dakare?

AD: … See ordinarily when people protest against the government, the responsibility for food, drinks etc. lies with the government… If it is a Bhookh Hartal, government doesn’t need to bother at all…उनका तो पैसा बचता हैं ना … And then old people like me suffer…

JK: That is true… So what are you planning now?

AD: I have decided to “Stuff myself till I die fast”… or in other words a “Burp-a-thon!”

JK: What is a Burp-a-thon, Mr. Dakare?

AD: … Its like this… The person sitting on a Burp-a-thon protest has to keep eating and drinking all the time… His mouth must never stop chewing on something… I have picked this up from the ancient secular Indian scriptures… It is called Bhojanagraha… i.e. the person or the Bhojanagrahi will accept all offerings of food till such time the other side accepts his viewpoint… This way, the government has to make arrangement for food, drinks and even nature’s calls, you know… This would be a more powerful way of forcing the government to accept my demands… Because if they don’t, they will have to keep feeding me… Eventually economy will collapse and everyone will blame the government…

JK: Very innovative approach Mr. Dakare.. … Oops I think I have already caught on to the Burp-a-thon… Your detractors say you should contest elections instead of protesting… What do you say to that?

AD: I say this… Why stand for elections and all that drama when I can anyways have my way! भगवान मेरे विरोधियों को थोड़ी बुद्धि प्रदान करे …. Jai Hind! Jai Bharat

JK: Jai Hind indeed Anna Dakare!