This is a story of two men on opposite sides — Amit Shah, the vafaadar to Saheb, and Sanjay Jha, vafadaar to Chotta Maalik !
Though as opposite as two can be, strangely both look similar. Both have kurtas, salt and pepper beards, balding heads and similar looks. Both are masters of political spin. Almost as if twins had been lost in Kumbh mela in a Bollywood film!
As destiny had it, these two long lost souls are confronting each other day in and day out through their spin… much like Salman and Shahrukh, as Shashi Kapoor and Amitabh in had done so in Deewar, like Ravan and Eddie! Destiny pitted them against each other and finally one day, a confrontation took place… dialogues of which only Salim Javed can write.
“Amit Shah is a snooper!” Sanjay jha would announce to his spin team on the internet. “Get lurid details of the tape… punch it on all comment sections of news websites… “
“Chotta Maalik is a loser in UP,” Amit Shah would announce daily to his pracharaks. “Let us counter him and his propaganda created by his vafadar Sanjay jha by punching in dislikes to all the comments by congress trolls!”
One fine day Santa reporting for Faking News channel called both of them to the studio for a live confrontation. Santa who had once mistaken Jayalalita for Mayawati– and got bashed by both– was a pub going bloated belly scribe, who loved to drink at the Press club before he drove any interview.
And anyway by May 2014 Sanjay Jha having nothing to do for the campaign except sitting at home and watching the Modi graph grow had gained 10 kilos. While Amit Shah runing from Noida to Varanasi had lost 30 kilos. So let us not blame Santa for this disaster!
Here are excerpts which made Jha and Shah throw in the towel. Santa mistook Shah for Jha and vice versa!
“Oye Jha ” Santa stared and addressed Amit Shah, “Seems that all the 500 crore you spent on Rahul publicity has only gone into pockets of his team!”
Amit Shah jumped in retaliation, “Yes yes… they spent the money from coalgate and 2g… but I am Amit Shah!”
Santa scratched his balls. ” One and same thing ji one and same thing. You both look the same ji you look the same ” Then turning towards Sanjay Jha he said, ” And you Mr Amit Shah, ran from Noida to Ballia to campaign for Modi but… the people were tired of Congress anyway how do you claim credit?”
Sanjay Jha does not like it one bit. “Stupid man. Cannot recognise an MBA from a RSS nickerwala! I am Sanjay… Sanjay Jha…!”
Santa the anchor is too high on his bagpiper to care. ” Shah ho ya jha… Kaam is only one. To create stories ji stories… Anyway Mr Jha… how do you propose to spend your retirement time now since Congress is now out of power for at least 10 years..”
” Stupid man.” Sanjay Jha snaps, ” A downturn is an opportunity for an upturn…”
Sitting in one corner Amit Shah giggles, “That is really good Rahulism…”
And so went the interview.
But in 10 Janpath the reaction was tearfull.
” Was Sanjay Jha… actually Amit Shah?” Rahul scratched his head
“Was Amit Shah.. actually Sanjay Jha, ” Modi in gandhinagar wondered.
Phonelines from 10 janpath to Gandhinagar to faking news Channel went cracking.
And by the time the interview came to an end, both Sanjay jha and Amit Shah werre dancing hand in hand. friends forever. ” We both have been sacked… have resigned… ” They sang out. ” Ultimately we both have freed om now!”