Akhilesh Yadav told non-paid media except Times Now yesterday that he along with his ministers have successfully destroyed 5 communal force camps in 3 major district areas.
He said that since childhood he always heard his father Mulayam Singh Yadav talking abount fighting against communal forces till last breath. “Sometimes my father even wept and said I can not support a corrupt party like Congress in center but why on earth allah made them secular” quoted Akhilesh.
Inspired by his childhood experience and constant threat against minorities he moved to UK to complete his masters in Secularism with flying colors and then decided to be dad’s soldier rather than a doodhwala bhaiyya.
When asked by one reporter who is allegedly suspected to be Arnab Goswami in disguise asked him how did he planned the whole operation and flawlessly crushing non secular extremists, the fearless akhilesh roared – “See it was a totally covert and classified mission. You see our united districts of Uttar Pradesh can compromise with anything say it confidentiality and integrity of our state but we can not tolerate non secular forces. We sent our ministers to europe to learn and master special combat and tactical skills. We also performed some mock fighting sessions and real life scenarios. The treatment of doctors in Kanpur, ambush at various toll plazas across the Uttar Pradesh were all part of the plan and executed to check our capabilities you see”.
His move and stringent steps are highly appreciated by countries like Pakistan, Afghanistan and our neighbouring Bangladesh. Bangladeshis are migrating india rapidly to help and contribute to this fight voluntarily. Several arab countries have even promised a special package for Uttar Pradesh government.
Azam Khan who is better known as Admiral of Samajwadi party and Mukhtar Ansari a well known sharp shooter of his time and currently leading special weapons and tactical teams of party were seen to burst in tears while Akhilesh spoke his heart out.
Akhilesh promised to leave no stone unturned to fight this holy war to create a peaceful society full of joys and harmony. He later on admitted that “The whole world is busy in useless things like making roads, providing electricity and water, good food and medical facilities to everyone while they should be concentrating on only thing secularism. We are even having talk with Google and other vendors to develop a special software mounted device which should be able to check whether a person is secular or communal because now userid password kinds credentials are deprecated and a special authenticity check method has evolved prematurely known as ‘secular credentials’. The person having secular credential is like he is having admin access. He can do whatever he feels like as long as he stays secular”.
“Sometimes our soldiers become very tired and even depressed that’s why we organised Saifai mahotsav to entertain them a bit with Bollywood celebrities and thumkas during tense Muzaffarnagar border,” added Akhilesh.
Prime minister Manmohan Singh sent a blank message to Akhilesh to give him a boost. Rahul Gandhi congratulated Akhilesh’s move from a busy Europe pub and said “A dog can not fly and no flying dog can be considered empowered just like elephants can not swim in ocean and our india is like a ocean of various cultures and it needs some real dope shope to swim in skies rather than dope shope provided by yo yo honey singh.”
Mayawati took on Akhilesh saying that do the war but no dalit or elephant should be harmed during this operation. Aam aadmi of uttar pradesh also cheered and applauded chanting “Krantikaari!!! Bahut hi Krantikaari!!!”.