Monday, 23rd April, 2018

After promising to turn Amethi into England, Rahul promises to turn Congress party into X-Men

06, May 2014 By Vaibhav Anand

Amethi: In a bid to enthuse voters in the traditional Gandhi bastion of Amethi, Rahul promised to turn Amethi into England, if UPA returned to office. “Mere dono haath jod do, mein Amethi ko England bana doonga,” he had said. A couple of days later, Rahul has gone a step further and promised to turn Congress partymen into X-men, using the same scientific principles he was going to use to turn Amethi into England.

This will be Congress' new avatar.
This will be Congress’ new avatar.

“I was speaking to my mother and she told me to stop bothering her and go watch something on TV,” Rahul said, elaborating how he had reached the conclusion that he could turn his partymen into men with extraordinary superpowers. “And mummy was right… because I saw X-men on TV and realized that our political model is very limited. All of us need to become X-men to fight all these communal forces that are tearing up this nation.”

Speaking about his next steps, Rahul said, “I plan to expose all Congress partymen to dangerously toxic levels of radiation to empower them properly. I will get back to you soon on what the results are.”

Meanwhile, if reports from within the PMO are to be believed, a usually reticent Dr. Manmohan Singh grew rather agitated on hearing what Rahul planned to do next, even going to the extent of (allegedly) exclaiming, “Oh teri bhen di!