Monday, 19th March, 2018

After NaMo and Digvijay, now Rahul Gandhi reveals his relationship status

06, May 2014 By banerjee.prapti

After Narendra Modi got all that publicity because of his freshly revealed marital status and Digvijay Singh suddenly becoming a lot more cool after he announced that he has a girlfriend, Rahul Gandhi decided to follow the suit.

However, since Rahul is neither married nor having an affair, he decided to call a spade a spade and announced that his relationship status is ‘Single’.

Rahul Digvijay
“Reveal it before they find out using sting operation”

When people wondered what was so new about his announcement, he clarified his position by saying that one can never be sure about public information anymore.

“I mean, look at Diggi Raja! One would expect him to be a loving grandfather of some half a dozen brats but it turns out that he is having a love affair. This changes all our perceptions about him. Frankly, even I thought him to be a senile old man who comes handy when one has to pass any non-nonsensical comment about anyone in opposition, but now I am completely bowled over by his youthfulness ,” he said.

Adding further to his point Rahul said that even Narendra Modi’s public perception changed after it was revealed that he was married after all.

“Everybody thought that he was just an upstart Chaiwala who caused the Gujarat riots but now everybody thinks that he is just another domestically challenged old man who is also an upstart Chaiwala who caused the Gujarat riots. So, I decided to clarify my relationship status well in advance so that the jobless media does not get a chance to do any sting operation on me and then declare that Rahul Gandhi is Single.”

In wake of such an announcement, renowned psephologist Matdaan Bharati said that such revelations might actually help Rahul gain popularity amongst women voters who comprise 49% of voting public, as shown in the advertisement of a respected tea brand.

“Young women might find his single-hood alluring and the older women will consider it to be tragic and hence give him sympathy. In both the cases it will help Rahul garner some votes from the female population.”

On being asked as to what Rahul would do to gain votes from the male population, the psephologist said, “What do you think Priyanka is for?”

On the other hand, BJP has trashed Rahul for imitating Atal Bihari Bajpai and alleged that Congress is running out of original ideas.

Meanwhile, Kumar Vishwas of the Aam Aadmi Party and Rahul’s contender from Amethi has promised to gift his anthology of love poems, ‘Aam Aadmi ka Khaas Pyar’ to help blossom Rahul’s love life, after the elections are over.