After PM Modi struck a chord with the citizens by directly interacting with them through radio and assuring them of a stable and effective governance, Congress ‘eternally young’ vice president Rahul G (Read as Rahulji) has come up with a master plan to counter Modi and to revive congress after its recent drubbing in Lok Sabha and Assembly elections.
Elaborating about it, Twitter loudmouth and a part time politician Diggy Chacha said, “Rahul G started dreaming about India’s progress and well-being during recent parliamentary sessions and therefore he suggested why not share those revolutionary ideas with the Aam Junta so that they can also start believing in his super powers. This would also help the party garner crucial mindshare ahead of upcoming assembly elections in several states.”
Important points to be discussed in his first ‘My Dreams’ talk are as follows:
- All rural folks to be given one set of shirt and pant so that they too can relate to his ingenious thought of ‘Politics is in my shirts, it is in my pants’.
- Rahul G would start a reality show named ‘Kaun Khilayega Roti Rahul Ko’ in which one poor family would be chosen where Rahul G would eat and spend one night and his team would ensure that all cots of the family are taken away so that he can sleep on the floor to make it more authentic.
- Rahul G would also speak about the benefits of a remote control and how ‘Mute’ button can be used in different ways thereby stressing on multi-tasking.
- Rahul G would give his perspective on Black Money and his plan to set up a whitener plant to paint all black money white and then bring it back. Hell Yeah!
- Rahul G would also talk about the increased FDI cap in Cable broadcast business which now helps him watch umpteen cartoon shows apart from ‘Chota Bheem’
- Rahul G plans to start #CleanIndia mission by cleaning his house of all the tissue papers used by his Mommy since Lok Sabha election results.
- Rahul G has also promised to campaign in each district for his party to ensure a Congress (Read BJP) win.
- Rahul G plans to spend upcoming Diwali with the deprived Keralites to feel their pain and their
liquorerr…. moist eyes.
- He would in the end ask citizens their problems so that he can dream about them and provide earth-shattering and
land-grabbing(Oops, now Priya will scold me) solutions.
With this, ruling party president Shri Amit Bhai Shah has heaved a huge sigh of relief. “Thank God, I have less to worry about from the Congress side. This way I can also save some hair from departing my head’ said the feisty fox gleefully.
Another BJP spokesperson couldn’t contain his laughter and said “Are you serious, Are you serious!” before holding his stomach and leaving off hurriedly.