Thursday, 19th October, 2017

After back-to-back poll successes, BJP to nominate candidate for 2016 US Presidential elections

16, Sep 2014 By Awadhi 66A

Emboldened with the back-to-back political success in last one year, BJP has decided to hoist the saffron flag at international level. The party announced here today that it will contest the US Presidential elections to be held in 2016. The party recently won the Delhi University Student Union elections by huge margins and its prospects are looking good in poll-bound states of Maharashtra and Haryana.

Party’s spokesperson Andhkar Jaw-dekar told the media-persons (most of whom have made their base camps at 11-Ashoka road) outside Party’s headquarters that this decision has been unanimously taken by each and every party member after of course it was green-lit by PM Modi. Sources say that PM Modi had long since set his eyes on US and his soaring popularity in US was probably one of the reasons behind non-approval of his VISA applications.

Insider party sources told Faking News that win in General elections was kinda anticipated and during recent DUSU elections where BJP’s youth wing ABVP bagged all seats was a pleasant surprise but what really made us believe that we can win anywhere we fight is the results of Jawaharlal university student union polls where we have scored a distinct second. If we can find support with those Khadi-wearing, beedi-wielding, perpetually grumpy-faced Naxalites then it should be piece of cake for us to take America by storm. I mean with our mutual hatred towards Islam and gay people and love for crony capitalism, Republicans are already our comrades, pardon the expression. America, we are coming for you.

Right-wing elements have whole-heartedly applauded the decision of the Party hailing it as another move in the path towards the dream of ‘Global Hindutva’, an utopian world where no-body will anything else but Hindu (of course they will be poor, malnourished, in dire need of healthcare and reeling under corruption but they will be Hindu and that’s what that really matters). A prominent analyst who belongs to New-Delhi think tank ‘Kukurmutta foundation’ elaborated ‘When Columbus discovered America as we all know he was searching for India so he christened the people of America, Indians. And since, as we have already proved that all Indians are Hindus then by extension of the same logic all Americans are Hindus. Hindutva is their one and only identity. Now as you can see, venturing into the political battlefield of America for BJP is not a breakthrough but a historical course-correction, long overdue. ‘

The news has received mixed responses from US politicians. Republicans have offered full support to Narendra Modi and Republican leader Schitt Romney called him ‘leader par excellence’. A Republican Party member added on condition of anonymity that I will prefer a Modi over ‘hussain obama’ anyday. America needs a leader who can firmly stand up against Islamic threat. Upon questioning that US has killed thousands of muslims under Obama, he promptly added that its about time we nuke them. He further suggested that after the win, the way BJP leaders have demonstrated their zeal for Hindutva backtracking on every other issue, including development shows that they have the potential to be true global leaders. With options like Hilary Clinton and any Republican leader (look at Ted Cruz, seriously), the prospect of ANY BJP leader becoming US president sounds like a real catch, he concluded.

The responses of Indian opposition parties are still awaited.

Topics:#BJP #US