Monday, 23rd April, 2018

Abu Azmi elected president of All India Hangman Union; says buffaloes who engage in consensual sex outside marriage should be hanged

15, Apr 2014 By psych0bar0n

Mumbai  – Samajwadi Party leader Abu Azmi was unanimously elected as president of the All India Hangman Union [AIHU] after the lone opposing candidate Nata Mallick stepped down from the contest.

The result came as no surprise after Mr Abu Azmi had endeared himself to the mostly unemployed hangmen of the nation by stating that immoral buffaloes who engaged in pre-marital sex should be hanged, male or female.

Abu Azmi
“Shameless buffaloes”

Mr Azmi’s election has received mixed opinions from people. An NGO working with unemployed hangmen, Jallaad Kalyaan Samiti, welcomed the move saying that this would help generate income for ‘jallaads’ who had not hanged anyone in years. However, Mr Azmi’s secular rival in the Samajwadi Party, Mr Azam Khan, has started a game of one-upmanship by saying that his buffaloes were being singled out by Mr Azmi. Mr Azam Khan also proposed an alternate law to hang housewives who sit at home and watch movies having pre-marital sex scenes.

Meanwhile, the Akhil Bhartiya Buffalo Sangh [ABBS] has called the move racially prejudiced claiming that they were being targetted because of their tanned skin color. ABBS chief Bhainseshwar Jhota has threatened to sit on a dharna outside the Samajwadi Party head office. “It is the last straw which broke the buffaloes back, if this law is implemented, we will be forced to look for greener pastures,” bellowed Mr Bhainseshwar.

Samajwadi Party honcho Bhulayam Singh Yadav has come all out in support of Mr Azmi. “Our young males buffaloes get horny once in a while and might do something wrong, why punish them for this. It’s the female buffalo’s fault,” said Mr Yadav while inaugurating the 24 hour toll-free helpline for male rapist buffaloes to help them deal with their trauma and stress.