The congress party today declared Abhijit Mukherjee (AB) as an apparent and a worthy successor to Digvijay Singh. It was not a sudden thing, AB has shown his power of words is as deadly as his mentor’s Digvijay Singh and under his guidance he would be able to achieve that height of stupidity and bull shit which earlier were deemed impossible. In Digvijay’s own words for AB, he says “He is going to be known as the dented and painted Eiffel Tower of Pisa when it comes to speaking crap and shit, I would personally ensure that my guidance and support is always there for him.”
Abhijit himself is a laureate and pass out of S.H.I.T (School for Half-witted Idiotic Talks), he also won the famous “Dhakan of the Year” award. He has since spoken his outstanding views on all the topics ranging from Pakistan’s peaceful economy to US’s policy on treating dumb people, all the while leaving Italy out for obvious reasons. Finally, he has now made it big and has a chance to make a name for himself and come out of his father’s image. Abhijit has also been the dean of D.U.M.B (Department of Utter Mortifying Bullshit) and has been instrumental in the growth of Bullshit around India; Khap heads often come to him for advice.
But opposition has refuted the claim of him being that good and he might end up being a Rohit Sharma of Congress, though Rahul Gandhi might take that credit. Sushma Swaraj has blasted the claims of Digvijay Singh, and fumed “I have opened H.I.P.S (Home for Imaginative People Shit) and it is going very well. Infact, Arindam Choudhary has even started an international course there for diplomats and foreign expats. As we all know Pakistan does not train militants, China is not increasing its boundary, and USA didn’t attack Iraq because of Oil. Its good business and everybody knows HIPS don’t lie.”
Meanwhile SP party has taken strong opposition to the words of AB “dented and painted”. A senior SP leader said, “array bhai yeh kaam toh gaadi pe hote hai jab who sahi hone jaati hai aur hum insurance claims lete hain.” The party was angry because Abhijit used so many English words together and it didn’t make any sense to them. SP as usual is planning a walk out in the parliament on this issue.
Meanwhile, Mukherjee Junior found support from Home Minister Shinde and the Delhi Police chief. Shinde said “He(AB) has spoken the truth, there are anti social element and are disturbing the peaceful sleeping time of the cops on duty. It won’t be tolerated.” The police chief said, “Our income by way of bribes has fallen, nor are we able to get free food at night from dhabbe walla. How can we survive in such hardships??”
Amidst all this PM Manmohan Singh was found mumbling “theek hai, theek hai, thand hai, thand hai.”