Friday, 23rd March, 2018

AAP's Swaraj Budget Simplified

01, Jul 2015 By dashy

New Delhi: The Aam Aadmi Party Government has declared its first Swaraj Budget for Delhi. This was perhaps the first State Budget which has got so much coverage in the News and we can thank Arvind Kejriwal for replacing Lalit Modi for a moment on the National News. THANK GOD !!

And like every budget, I felt the need to simplify this one for you guys too.

Manish Sisodia presented the Rs. 41,129 Crore Delhi budget.

Budget Highlights:

You will understand everything from this Budget

– Rs. 9000+ Crores set up for Education. Money will be deposited in special schemes for allocating Law degrees to Delhites. Anyone under this scheme will be liable to receive a law degree and then go straight to Jail, under the “Jitendra Tomar Scheme”.

There are talks of tying up with Smriti Irani and Vinod Tawde of BJP for Engineering and Commerce/Arts Degrees. Yashodhaben Academy Of Lallantap Education (YALE) University was unavailable for comments.

– Rs. 50 Crores have been set aside for free WiFi in all private colleges. Now the Students can send “Latest Sunny Leone Clips” to each other over Whatsapp Groups for free 😛

– CCTVs will be installed in all classrooms of Government schools. The next time you want to pass a note to the cute lil chick on the first bench, remember …. Upar Wala Sab Dekh Raha hain !

– Rs. 5,085 Crores have been allocated to increase the number of buses plying Delhi. People crossing the Delhi roads will be given additional insurance, especially on routes which are running the infamous DTC buses.

– Special Hostels for Working Women will be set up. I am working on compiling a list of all these hostels and their addresses and the list will be available to FOSLA on a Pre-Paid Basis.

– Taxes have been increased on Cable TV and Cinema. The People of Delhi will now have to pay extra money to watch Arnab Goswami screaming and movies like Humshakals and Himmatwala.

– Luxury Tax is to be increased on Hotels. In future all BJP and Congress meeting will happen at roadaside Dhabas. AAP meets happen on the middle of roads anyways, so they wont be affected.

There have been complaints that the Budget speech given by Sisodia, was unusually long. Infact it was so long that Suresh Prabhu went to Rajpath, took his nap and came back to the office and Sisodia was still speaking.

The Rumours that the next AAP Advertisement will be longer than Sisodia’s budget speech are completely false and baseless.

Disclaimer: This Budget has not given any special subsidies for procurement of brooms or muffler as yet.