Crusader minister Arvind Kejriwal has urged the Election commision (EC) to declare results of MCD elections based on the internal survey conducted by the AAP. This comes in the wake of the EC rejecting the request of AAP to conduct elections using ballot papers.
The entire proposal was mooted after a huge discrepancy was noted between the numbers thrown out by the internal survey conducted by AAP and the final results put up by the EC. The numbers garnered through the survey had been so positive that it had emboldened AAP spokesperson to assert that he would quit politics if AAP got less than 85 seats in Punjab. In fact it had also prompted AAP to go into premature victory celebrations. However, the results reported by the EC were not along the expected lines. This of course was a cause for concern.
A member of the AAP think tank has asserted that the EC results are suspect. For example a relative of his neighbour’s cousins maternal uncle living in Goa had seen nothing but a tsunami in favour of AAP while the EC result showed that 38 of the 39 AAP candidates in Goa had to forfeit their deposit. “There is really something fishy going on with the EVM!”, he commented. “How can the EVM not capture a Tsunami? The only plausible answer would be that they have been manipulated by that psycopath and his cronies”, he went on to answer his own question. “Logically the EVM was then placed in the long list of items under the keyword “Modi agent”.
To overcome this anomaly, the AAP think tank had put forward the proposal of using the results of internal survey conducted by an expert team of volunteers
cherry picked selected by the AAP. These volunteers would bring out the true picture as they have all been certified as honest by no less than Arvind kejriwal himself.
“Just consider at all the benefits it would bring about”, said an AAP insider. “Firstly being an operation funded by the AAP, there will be no wasteful expenditure of public money. It will be one of the most revolutionary method of saving scarce public money and AAP would duly advertise this achievement by putting up full page advertisements in all the newspapers of India. Secondly, it would uphold the credibility of the EC. Just think, with AAP on the side of EC, there would be nobody to cast aspersions on the mode of functioning of the EC. And finally with Internal surveys being conducted by us we will ensure that we can finally usher in honest politicians and drive away that psycopath and his followers out of politics”. When asked about the possibility of such a survey showing poor outcome for AAP, pat came the reply, “We will not accept any survey which shows AAP in bad light and we will just conduct another survey which gives us a positive result. After all even that Trump fellow said that he would not accept the result if he were not to win the elections and look where he has reached with such an attitude!”
In fact the AAP has coined a new slogan in anticipation of the EC accepting their proposal, “Baar Baar Kejriwal”