New Delhi: After days of discussions, deliberations, fist fighting, name calling and badmouthing, the newest entrant in India’s political scene imploded last evening. Senior members could not agree on a common direction in which the party should progress. After the stormy meeting, an ebullient Ashish Pankha declared, “we have been able to get rid of naysayers and disbelievers, the true party will now rise under Mufflerman’s leadership”.
Mr. Chokendra Madhav was almost teary eyed, said that he was being punished for predicting lesser number of seats for AAP during Delhi elections. Mr. Ashanti Dooshan reiterated his support for Biran Kaidi as Delhi CM when asked for his reaction. Kumar Gaddar, in his poetic style said, “जिसकी धुन पर दुनिया नाचे, mufflerman ऐसा एकतारा है, हमको भी वह प्यारा है, तुमको भी वह प्यारा है “.
Considering the current leakages of AAP, our reporter gives you the political perspective on this development. AAP will now split into 5 entities, these are as follows:
1. Basic Aam Aadmi Party or BAAP: This would be the original AAP and would be recognized as the Jhaadoo wali AAP by the election commission. It would continue to be led by the Mufflerman. BAAP’s political slogans will be,“जन जन का नारा, mufflerman है प्यारा ” and “बाकी सब हैं चोर, mufflerman को दिल मांगे more”. BAAP will continue to be the party in power in Delhi.
2. Principled Aam Aadmi Party or PAAP: PAAP would be led by Chokendra Madhav. It is planning to use “India’s map” as its election symbol to show its commitment to spreading beyond Delhi. PAAP’s slogans will be,“जहाँ जहाँ था AAP, वहाँ बढेगा PAAP ” and “जन जन ने जाना है PAAP को देश में बढाना है ”. PAAP will be the second largest party in Delhi Assembly.
3. Anti-National Aam Aadmi Party- ANAAP (or ANAAP-SHANAAP colloquially): ANAAP-SHANAAP would be led by the Dooshan Father-Son duo. Their election symbol would be Pakistan’s flag. ANAAP-SHANAAP’s slogans will be,“पकिस्तान ज़िंदाबाद ” and “जनता ने भले हो नकारा, biran kaidi पर है विश्वास हमारा ”.
4.Nayi Aam Aadmi Party- NAAP: NAAP would be led by ex-AAP leaders like Phanjali Madania, Subedar Poginath, etc., who had left AAP earlier. They claim that NAAP will be the new AAP, literally and metaphorically. Their election symbol will be Pochcha and their slogans will be, “पोछा करेगा पूरी सफाई, झाडू की अब शामत आई ” and “आये मिटाने पुराने पाप, अबकी बार सिर्फ NAAP”
5. Congress risen Aam Aadmi Party- CRAAP (or CRAP colloquially): CRAP would be led by Ex-Congressmen who joined AAP to go with the flow and reap fortunes. Eager to return to their mother party, their election symbol will be Robert Vadra. Their slogans will be “हम सबका जीजा बड़ा सायाना, congress में हैं हम को जाना ” and “खाया था पैसा, किए थे पाप, मानते हैं congress पार्टी को सच्चा बाप “
Clearly, interesting days are waiting for country’s politics.