In breaking news, Arvind Kejriwal today announced that Aam Aadmi Party tickets would be auctioned to the highest bidders on Ebay.
‘’We have already announced 407 candidates. We still have 141 tickets left in the kitty. We thought this would solve two problems for us. It will raise funds for the party, and also greatly increase our pretense of being a truly national party”, said a smiling Kejriwal.
“We wanted to do a lottery but the Election Commission objected, saying no contests allowed under Model Code of Conduct. But no one objects to a public auction as it is fully transparent. If this experiment is successful, we will also field Aam Admi Party candidates in all 435 constituencies in America and increase our dollar earnings,” Kejriwal explained.
“We are also looking at contesting from all constituencies in Pakistan. The only negative issue is that we may actually win there because obviously we are seen by the locals as Pro-Pakistan. And if we win, then we will have real problems governing that place like we did in Delhi!”
Subba Rao, from Rajahmundry constituency in Andhra became the first winner of the ticket auction, paying four rupees for his AAP Lok Sabha ticket. “I have always wanted to contest elections from a major party. Here I get my own AAP cap, a certificate giving a ticket, and a broom, all for only four rupees. Of course I am not so stupid as to actually file my nomination and lose my deposit,” said Subba Rao.
Meanwhile, AAP National Executive member Cristina Samy has announced she is breaking away from AAP in Karur in Tamil Nadu, and launching her own party, the Cristina AAP (CRAAP). “CRAAP wants to remove the stench of bad governance from AAP, and avoid repeat of Delhi debacle”, said Cristina in an announcement, speaking in Karur.