Friday, 20th April, 2018

AAP releases slap and ink attack policy

08, Apr 2014 By Mahesh Jagga

Faking News found an abandoned document near HQ of Aam Aadmi Party. We cannot vouch for its provenance but it seems like it is AAP’s policy document on ink & slap attacks. We reproduce the document below.

Fortunately or unfortunately, usage of physical assaults or ink attacks as a medium to get more media coverage is highly prevalent in this election. Though AAP abhors such methods, especially since these are propagated & used by BJP & Congress, we have to, not only excel in this electoral practice but teach other parties a few tricks of our own.

This communication on rules governing slap and ink attack lays down the policy & procedures for management of such events.

AAP ink attack
The policy in action

General Rules

a)      Only the Politburo members & candidates from important constituencies are authorized to be the beneficiaries of this facility.

b)      The leaders who would be given the coverage through these attacks would be chosen on socialist principles. All of us have an inherent desire to be the beneficiaries of slaps or ink attacks, some of us may be more deserving than others, but the time honored principle of equitable distribution should guide our actions.

c)       Equitable distribution is also important from another perspective. One particular leader receiving more largesse than others is likely to become ‘Khaas Aadmi’ which is contrary to our founding principles.

d)      The beneficiary should be informed about the time & day of the event accurately so that advance preparation can be done. He / She may have to wear an old dress in case of ink attacks or be without shades / spectacles in case of an impending slap.

e)      Our associate media partners should be sent a daily schedule containing information on leader to be covered, time & place.

f)       All potential slappers have to register themselves with our Central Campaign Cell, deposit caution money of Rs. 500 (refundable) & their electoral identity cards.

g)      One volunteer can register for only one slap or two ink attacks in a calendar month.

h)      Above guideline applies to leaders too. No leader should demand an attack twice in the same calendar month. Exceptional requirements can always be submitted to Central Campaign Cell & would be considered on merit.

i)        If any unauthorized person is found indulging in such attacks, he should be handed over to Haryana Police if successful or Delhi Police, if unsuccessful, after volunteers have dealt with the attacker.

j)        Caution money would be refunded after successful completion of attack.

Technical details:

a)      Maximum allowable slap velocity is fixed at 7.23 meter per second, weight of the hand should not be more than 400 gm. These two would ensure that the resultant pressure on the cheek is not more than 13 psi. Important to note that only four fingers are allowed to touch the cheek. The resultant image should not look like a famous election symbol.

b)      Maximum allowable ink quantity is 15 ml & it should be washable. Preferably black ink should be used but in case cameraman insists on color, only green ink should be used considering AAP’s secular credentials.

Penalties & Compensation

a)      In case the attacker fails to turn up, caution money would be forfeited and would be barred from taking AAP membership for life.

b)      In case, any registered attacker is found to be violating above technical standards, his / her caution money would be forfeited, no appeals would be made to volunteers not to beat him, no medical expenses would be paid & the attacker handed over to a disciplinary committee.

c)       In case the attacker is interrogated by Police, the attacker needs to tell them that he was paid money by some unknown people to attack the leader. The amount to be mentioned may vary from opinion poll to opinion poll but must not stretch credibility & believability. Our recommendation is that the figure should be between Rs. 200 to Rs. 800.

d)      In case the attacker is arrested, bail would be arranged but no compensation for incarceration would be given.

e)        In case the attacker is injured in the interrogation by volunteers, the cost of repair is hereby limited to Rs. 300 per attacker.

Lastly, the slap & ink attack is an established electoral practice in India & should be treated with full respect it deserves. Anyone found cracking jokes about it or using it in satire articles would be dealt with sternly. Our esteemed colleague, the candidate from Chandni Chowk would be handling such eventualities.

Topics:#Ink #Slap