Delhi: Following a spate of protests by the ruling Aam Aadmi Party on the national capital, it seems the party is running out of ideas to protest. They had even planned to protest on issues that had been created by them.
Now, the party leadership is worried about how to run the rest of the five years. Their hopes that Congress will ditch them has vaporized, as Congress wants to go to any ends to keep AAP in power. Though the party is creating issues to protest against BJP, it is not becoming effective enough to sustain. So, in order to appears all time on news channels, the party has charted out a schedule on what to protest and when & how.
Today morning, AshutOsh, AAP’s spokesperson, tweeted, “All aam aadmis, Go outside your home and start hanging on the overhead electric wire. We are going to protest against the power companies”. All the news channels immediately broadcast the news that ‘AAP is protesting against power companies by hanging on the power lines’.
Our Faking News Delhi correspondent rushed outside his home and saw many aam aadmis hanging in the air, catching two power lines in each hand. He had expected the protesters to die of electrocution, but the Delhi power board had immediately switched off power to whole of Delhi, as soon as they got the news of the protest from the news channels.
Our correspondent went to nearby electric pole and tried to contact the aam aadmis trying to climb the pole.A college girl, Priyanka, was climbing over her fans to get to the wires. Priyanka’s high heels had injured some of them and so she gave up climbing the pole. When told about the dangers of electrocution, Priyanka replied, “Do you think we are retards? I’m sure the Delhi Electric board will not turn on the power. Even if they do, the BJP will pressurize them not to do so. Because, if even one of us die by electrocution, then our party will shout that ‘BJP forced Delhi EB to turn on the power’.”
An IIT student who had just now landed on ground from the wire, said, “See, by gripping on the wire, we are reducing the cross section of the electric wire. Less cross section will increase the resistance and larger the resistance, lesser the power. Now, since the power is reduced, the power bills will cost only half. This was the original idea behind our protest. This idea was put forth by IITians for AAP team in the recent party meeting and was approved by Kejriwalji. But, with the EB now cutting the power supply, the power tariffs are going to be very low. This is the intelligence of IIT. And to add to this, we are the only party, we are the only protesters, who have stood upto the term of resistance. This protest will henceforth be a synonym for The Resistance.”
Our correspondent then took his bike to nearby AAP office and tried to talk with leaders there. Sogendra Sadav let out a hearty laugh and then said, “We have now settled on our agenda. Our next moves are going to scare the Bharathiya Janata Party. Coming to this protest, we are providing resistance to power supply and hence to the power companies. Previously, we would hang out near the Home Minister office for dharna or near Parliament for dharna. For the first time, we are hanging literally. This will strengthen the arms of our aam aadmis. This resistance will continue till we get another idea for next dharna”
The spammer batman of Delhi, said, “There were reports that crows sitting on wires were shitting on aam aadmis. So, this is our raid to shoo away the crows out of Delhi. The black crows wanted to shit on the shirts of aam aadmis. I know those crows were fed by BJP members.”
Another top leader of AAP told, “Madamji told ‘Power is poison’. We don’t want that poison to flow to every home of Delhi. That is why we have taken this protest. We all know this is an arrangement by Modi to poison every Delhi home by supplying electricity from Gujarat.”
AAP has also planned to stage candlelight march to replace the streetlights during night and to protest against the protest which they protested in the morning protest.