Thursday, 29th June, 2017

A stoner's guide to Indian elections

25, Apr 2014 By subhkirti

Time: 4:20

Day: Really now!!

Place: In a galaxy; far far away, A land of chocolate milkshakes, Bob Marley and munchies.

Let’s talk about Indian Elections, PEOPLE!!!

To all the stoners, who were caught away in the bliss of smoking, and missed some of the key people of Indian elections, i will provide you with a pictorial representation.

With your stoner vision, try to figure them out.

(What other option do you have, you lazy ass motha’fucka…. You won’t search the internet, would you? You are so high!!)

IN-LINE TO TAKE MANNU’S CHAIR 

IN LINE TO TAKE MANNU’S CHAIR

Let’s start with the PM Candidates.

1. CODE NAME: NaMo.

“Iron-Man” of the Saffron Party. Chaddi-buddy of Adani and Ambani

2. CODE NAME: RaGa.

No Clue, whatsoever, of the current situation. Maa aur behen ke laad pyar ne hi bigaad diya hai BABA ko

3. CODE NAME: AK.

Ex- Magsaysay Award Winner. An Engineer, who believes strongly in CHAOS Theory.

WHO HELP THEM STAKE CLAIM ON MANNU’S CHAIR

WHO HELP THEM STAKE CLAIM ON MANNU’S CHAIR

1. CODE NAME: General Dong,

The YING to NaMo’s YANG

2. CODE NAME: MadamG.

The greatest personification of the dialogue, “Mere Paas Maa Hai

3. CODE NAME: Anoop Jalota aka Yogi Bhai

The Best “Aam  Singer-aadmi“. His voice is apt for an evening of Signature and Chakhna.

THE SUPPORTERS

THE SUPPORTERS

1. CODE NAME: NaMo Supporters (Navjot Singh Siddhu included).

The self appointed guardians of “Hindu” Dharma

2. CODE NAME: Congress Supporters (Nandan Nilekani, included)

SERIOUSLY DUDE!!

3. CODE NAME: AAP Supporters (Kamaal R Khan, included)

Why don’t you guys advise Baby Doll Kejriwal, for once!!

THE OTHER INSIGNIFICANT WHATEVERS

THE OTHER INSIGNIFICANT WHATEVERS

1. CODE NAME: Lekho

Brash, Aggressive, Brutal, Vitriolic… Dolly Bindra of Indian Politics.

2. CODE NAME: Perennial Stoner

No one, in their right frame of mind, will try and defend CONGRESS right now. But, Jhaji is an exception. He MUST be stoned, right?

3. CODE NAME: Shitface

Do you guys, really need an explanation? Just ignore him.

OTHER PILLARS OF SO CALLED DEMOCRACY

OTHER PILLARS OF SO CALLED DEMOCRACY

1. CODE NAME: The Architect

The “Kali” to the “Brahma, Vishnu and Mahesh” of BJP-CONGRESS-AAP

2. CODE NAME: Shree Shree Shree, 1008 Baar Shree, Satguru Goswami

The most peaceful person on the planet

3. CODE NAME: That guy from that balloon movie – UP

The most neglected man on Satguru Goswami’ show. Sometimes, he calls out his own name, to check, if the show is still on.

Now, use your imagination (which is flying high right now), and please get back to rolling. 🙂 🙂

When you are done, also try a thing called VOTING.