Disclaimer: This meeting took place in Delhi, a few days back. The report was forwarded to Faking News. We do not vouch for its authenticity. Names have been withheld at request of the reporter.
New Delhi. The issue was serious. The party workers and leaders faced daily ridicule on social media for being dumb and low IQ beings. The matter was serious and a working committee meeting was called. All senior leaders including the Vice President who had inherited the party arrived and deliberations began.
When you want to work on a weakness you need to acknowledge it first and the discussions veered to the question whether the party IQ, collectively, was actually low or it was just opposition propaganda to project it to be so by using their reach on social media.
They decided that they needed a test to check the IQ of average party worker to arrive at a conclusion. It was also discussed that the test should be simple but comprehensive, secular & inclusive enough to take care of diversity in education, economic & social status, religious affiliations of the party workers. Preferably, it should be one question which can be answered in a few words.
But what should be the question?
Different leaders gave different opinions on what question to be asked. Various questions were proposed, debated, contested and rejected. The discussion went on for hours.
The Vice President, the royal scion, the inheritor of the party and the target of most low IQ related barbs, got bored and ventured out of the discussion hall. He found a tea vendor across the road, walked upto him and asked for a cup of tea. The vendor was in a chatty mood and inquired as to what was happening in the hall. The VP told him about the discussion and the search for that elusive question that could define the collective IQ of the party.
The vendor held forth, “I have the question that may be of use, if you are interested.”
At the enthusiastic affirmation by the VP, the vendor stated, “The question is, ‘If we are two brothers and one is in Gujarat, where is the second one?”
VP exercised his brain for a few minutes but in vain. Then replied, “But that is a very tough question to answer. How can anyone know where is the second brother? We are not a lost and found department. This question won’t do.”
“The answer is simple, sir. I am the second brother”, said the vendor.
The VP was shocked. He had not been able to understand such a simple question. He looked around and was relieved to see that no one else had witnessed the interaction.
But coming to think of it, the question indeed was what they were looking for; simple, inclusive, free from any social or economic inferences and importantly, secular. He could ascribe his inability to answer the question to his preoccupied mind juggling the issues facing the country and a momentary lapse of attention. But, this was the question!
Thanking the vendor he rushed into the hall, went to the stage and announced, “I have the question, we are looking for.”
The leaders were relieved. Not only had the question been found, the tasks of explaining it to the VP, making him comprehend it and later crediting its discovery to him were also not needed. “Enlighten us, sir.” They cried, in unison.
“Okay. I would ask the question once. If majority of us can answer it correctly, we have nothing to worry on our IQ.” Then he repeated the question tea vendor had suggested, “If we are two brothers and one is in Gujarat, where is the second one?”
Nobody responded. Few minutes passed, not a squeak in the hall.
VP repeated the question but to no avail. Then one of the leaders spoke. “O, enlightened one. Only you have the vision to think of such a question and still call it simple. You have the vision to think of Jupiter when we are struggling with how to work the lift buttons. You can think of empowering people while we are stuck with mundane things of daily life. Kindly answer the question and bless us.” Ecstasy
Ah! The ecstasy of being the only one who knows the answer! The joy of of being the most intelligent! The VP obliged quickly.
“The answer, dear friends, is, ‘The tea vendor, outside this hall.”
The leaders felt as if the mysteries of universe had unfolded themselves in their presence. They felt so overwhelmed by such display of intellect that most of them kneeled down, some lying prostrate, to celebrate the intellect of the wise VP and thank him for sharing a bit of it.
Names of those who did not kneel or bow down were quickly noted down by the aide of VP for future action.
Later in the day, the working committee passed a resolution praising the wisdom of the VP and empowering him to take suitable actions to improve the intelligence level of the party.