Saturday, 18th November, 2017

A new NaMo vacuum cleaner creates whirl in Indian politics

23, Dec 2013 By none

As per recent news, Aam Aadami Party (AAP) has petitioned to ban a recently launched flexible vacuum cleaner, named NaMo.

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Anti-Broom.

The newly born political party was recently in news for a dazzling performance in the capital city-state of Delhi, riding on their promises of direct democracy, reduction in power tariff and above all, clean politics, which inspired their election symbol ‘jhaaDoo’ , a broom.

As per Professor Yogendra Yadav, a gentle speaking ideologue behind the party, “While jhaaDoo is designed to be handled by either hand with a left preference, NaMo vacuum cleaner is designed to be handled with right hand. That is our first objection.

The second objection is the sheer efficiency with which NaMo vacuum cleaner works. Come on, inefficiency is the reason why our country has remained like-minded – Gandhian, Sarvodayi, Socialist or Communist! To preserve such ancient traditions, we need gentle approach like a jhaDoo, not a noisy vacuum cleaner. A vacuum cleaner is like a textile mill, a jhaDoo is like a charkha. There is some emotional value in being determined but taking a long time.”

Within half an hour came another response from a young, smiling, poet-looking official of the party. Characteristic to AAP public relations, our correspondents are still deciding whether it was an explanation or rebuttal of the previous statement of Prof. Yadav. “We are pro-cleaning. NaMo is cleaning-pro. Here we are trying to reduce the power consumption, noise pollution and corruption by using a grass root jhaaDoo.”

Chairman of Lotus Public Ltd was hesitant about timing of their launch of the NaMo vacuum cleaner but the board and younger executives pushed it through. To their credit, the gamble has paid. In the last quarter the product saw unprecedented success in North India.

The ad campaign executive was all upbeat about the product. “It works! It cleans up mess, paper jungles and red tapes – even decades old stains of blood and demolition debris! We recently swept up 75% of Rajasthan, Madhya Pradesh and Chhattisgarh in one sweep! We couldn’t have gone wrong. We have been trying it in the limited market of Gujarat for last 15 years before going across India.”

Their marketing officers are even further upbeat. “We charge Rs. 5 to Rs. 10 for a two-hour demonstration of our product and lakhs of people travel hundreds of kilometers to watch it. The demand for demo is so high that we have to arrange for 3-D holographic telecasts. Can you show us any other such product now or in the history?”

In the meanwhile, an old lady who was called an expert sweeper in Delhi claimed there is nothing new in jhaaDoo or NaMo vacuum cleaner. “We have been doing rag-picking in Delhi by our own hand. What is new about all these? We have seen more grassroots like Trinamool – makes a lot of jarring noise but the amount of mess remains the same. Vacuum cleaners don’t clean up everything! At higher and inaccessible places the vacuum just sucks, doesn’t clean. See, finally there is no parallel to the phrase haath-kee safaa-ee! My colleagues have successfully cleaned up even the exchequer by their own hands, without leaving a single fingerprint!” and then went on complaining about how recent political uncertainty in Delhi has left this grape lover only sour grapes to eat.

Free-market guru Prasad Bhagat insists that it is finally a Darwinian market. The fittest will survive. He has thinks people need cleanliness. A hand, a broom or a vacuum cleaner don’t matter.