Thursday, 22nd March, 2018

24 hour day too short to show Modi, news broadcasters demand for 56 hours in a day

14, May 2014 By rajivxing

The News Broadcasters Association is seeking an extension in the number of hours in a day from the current 24 to 56, as they are finding it difficult to cover each and every act of the BJP’s Prime Ministerial candidate, Shri Narendra Modi in the 24 hours that a given day has these days.

Lambe din aane waale hain.

A delegation of the News Broadcasters Association met the chief election commissioner, Shri V.S.Sampath, this afternoon to seek issuance of a government notification for an increase the duration of a day to 56 hours.

Earlier during the day they had approached the day and night authority of India to seek extension of the number of hours in a day on a permanent basis. However, as the model code of conduct is in force, they were directed to approach the Election Commission for further action on this crucial matter.

In their petition given to the Day and Night Authority of India, they had pleaded that the current 24 hours in a day are too little for them to discharge their duties in a professional manner. “24 X 7 coverage of Shri Modi’s speeches, activities and antics was not doing justice to this tallest and broadest man who has walked on this planet. The nature of journalism had to change. Coverage had to be redefined. Even 3D technology currently owned by some news channels was passe. Leave alone journalism, the time had come to redefine fundamentals of life itself. The least that is needed to be done is 56 X 7 coverage, that would do minimalistic justice to the need of the hour.”

“We are finding it impossible to match the expectation of our bosses and corporate owners,” said Mr. K.V.L. Narayan Rao, the Executive Vice President of the NBA, speaking to this reporter. “24 hours in a day are too little to promote Shri Modi. We need much more than that. We have even significantly reduced advertisements to give more time to Modi ji,” he continued. But that too has not relped change matters.

To delve into the technical matters that are involved, the CEC called the Controller General, Day and Night, Shri Surya Bhagwan Ji to his office.

Shri Surya Bhagwan ji stated that the duration of 24 hours to a day is defined by the sunrise and sunset cycle. This is how it is done globally and hence we need to confine ourselves to this. Shri M.K. Anand (of Times Global) MD and CEO of NBA said that “We need not look for the so called globally acceptable ways of doing things only. See how we have redefined journalism and distanced it from global models. Our Modiapa model of journalism is envied by so many countries including but not limited to Pakistan. We really need to be thinking out of the box”

Shri Alok Agarwal (of Zee Media) CEO of the NBA stated that Shri Modi had a chest of 56 inches. “To do justice to Modipistic reporting, we need at least one hour per inch. Hence a 56 hour day would be the least that is expected to be able to present a shining model of Modia journalism.” He even raised the issue of the free and fair media of India being in a growing stage and that it needed support to whatever extent it was possible by the Government. Most channels had become Modiapised, but increasing the number of hours in the day was crucial for the country to evolve a mature Modiamedia.

After listening to the submissions of the media honchos who are the members of the NBA, the CEC asked Shri Surya Bhagwan Ji to give his expert advise to help in a decision being taken. The decision seemed justified, but the technicalities would need the help of Shri Surya Bhagwan Ji he said. He later declared that post the elections, a day – night extension commission would be constituted to oversee the just and accurate implementation of the extended day. He also wanted clarification whether this extension would be valid for only the media or also for the Indian masses at large.

Giving his technical advise, Shri Surya Bhagwan Ji said that “In case there is an increase in the number of hours in a day, the media would need to bear with the fact that more than one sunrise and sunset cycle would need to be accomodated during the newly defined norms for a day.”

Shri. Rajat Sharma (India TV) Chairman of the NBA said that “Each time Shri Modi raises his head, it is sunrise for us. These days, Modi ji has been touching the feet of many people to please his voters and doters. Each time he rises after touching a foot, we consider that Modi ji has risen. So we are used to many sunrises in a day in fact.” Sharma also felt that the move would be good for the general public as well, as they would get time to do other things as the people of India are generally short of time for anything and everything. Thus the move would be in national interest. “The point is well taken and acceptable,” said Shri Surya Bhagwan Ji.

The National Spokesperson for the BJP, Smt. Meenakshi Lekhi was present in the CEC’s office in another matter pertaining to permission not being granted for Modi’s rally in Varanasi. Smt. Lekhi said that “Sunrise happens east of Arunanchal Pradesh, somewhere in Chinese territory. However, it sets a few miles into the sea off the Gujarat coast. So while we can not do much with the Chinese side of things, till we do not form a full term Government, we can surely prevent the sun from setting off the Gujarat Coast for a few more hours.”

It was also discussed that if the sun can not set, it can not rise either, as clearly it was the same sun that rose each day after it had set the previous day. There was some confusion that in case the sun was not allowed to set, the Chinese might create another sun and rise that one instead. So bearing up with two suns would be a problem for the people of India in the height of summer, that has been particularly harsh this year.

“Sunrise and sunset are aspects of science and need to be treated and understood that way,” said Ms. Anurradha Prasad, Chairperson cum MD of the NBA. Smt Lekhi said that, “BJP is a political party and it has nothing to do with Science and Technology.”

She also said that there was an attempt to confuse people in the meeting and this was part of a larger conspiracy to malign the image of her party. However the idea of doing anything that would result in the creation of another sun was dropped in public interest.

Post elections when the model code of conduct ceases to exist, the Day and Night Authority of India would constitute a 7 member commission to work out the roll out of the 56 hour day to the people of India.

“7 is a lucky number, and 8 times this magical figure is the modipistic magical figure of 56,” said Shri Surya Bhagwan Ji. Smt Lekhi assured the CEC that the BJP will be glad to provide clocks to the people of India free of cost with modified Lotus shaped dials, with built in time management software for a 56 hour day. Indian Railways, NPL and the Supreme Command of the Armed forces would be actively involved in the roll out of the 56 hour day.