Sunday, 22nd October, 2017

Ved Pratap Vaidik credits his intellectual prowess to Baba Ramdev’s Chavanprash, also blames it for side-effects

15, Jul 2014 By vargv

Ved Pratap Vaidik, a scholar, political analyst, freelancer columnist, and an embodiment of self-admiration, was caught in a controversy after conducting an interview with hardened terrorist Hafiz Saeed, the mastermind behind 26/11 Mumbai terror attacks among other terrorist activities.

After being questioned about his chat with the enemy of the state, Ved Pratap Vaidik went on boasting about his achievements as a journalist and a prodigy, instead of answering any questions about his suspicious act and the interview.

Ved Pratap Vaidik
“This much of chavanprash daily is enough”

When this Faking News reporter asked Vaidik how did he turn this way, he credited this prowess to the chavanprash manufactured by his close aide Ramdev Baba, which he had been eating over the years.

“Mr. Vaidik seems like he is high on Babaji ki booti instead,” said a psychiatrist. Mr. Vaidik boasts of having such a brilliant memory that he doesn’t require a tape recorder or a notepad to record hour-long conversations with important people, be it a head of a state or a terrorist.

He suggested journalists to give up their methods of interviewing and start eating Baba Ramdev’s chavanprash instead.

He did warn us about a special side-effect of the magical medicine though. The chavanprash, if consumed over many years, leads one to answer every question with nothing but self-praise.

“When I ask him anything he just blurts out how he was a prodigy at Jawaharlal Nehru University (JNU) and how he has interviewed many big-wigs; about his past achievements as a journalist, editor, etc.,” said his wife ,who hasn’t had a meaningful conversation with him ever since he started consuming Ramdev’s product.

Another side effect observed by the people who have been interviewed by Mr.Vaidik, is that he asks utterly stupid questions at times. “He asked me how many wives do I have,” said Hafiz Saeed. One interviewee told Faking News, “During one interview, Vaidik asked me various tricky questions like – melody inti chocolaty kyu hai, why this kolaveri di, hum chloromint kyu khaate hai, who let the dogs out? – I clearly didn’t have answers to those.”

Following this revelation, the food and drug administration (FDA)  has been asked to inspect Ramdev’s factory to find out the ingredients used in this chavanprash. “We think it is a mix of Marijuana, Coke, LSD, and a hint of brown sugar for flavor,” an FDA official told Faking News.