Thursday, 17th August, 2017

Times Now hires Jack Dorsey to keep trending on Twitter

11, Aug 2014 By krantikari_yeda

Leading news channel of the NATION Times Now has hired Jack Dorsey the creator of the micro-blogging site Twitter to continuously keep trending till eternity. This announcement from Times Now comes as a gift to the NATION from Arnab Goswami for the Independence Day.

When Faking News reporter contacted Voice of the nation and Editor-in-Chief of Times Now Arnab Goswami he got furious over the issue that the reporter asked him a question. When he later cooled down he responded, “Look my friend the nation wants to know what made you to ask me a question? This is not journalism; this is anarchy and Never Ever Ever Ever Ever again repeat this foolishness.” Faking news reporter was set free only after written apology was given to Arnab.

Jack Dorsey celebrating on his new job

After the minor hitch at Times Now, Faking News reporter contacted the man of the moment Jack Dorsey himself and he responded, (Kindly read it in American Accent) “I had never thought I would be working with Mr.Arnyab Goswyami. When I got the reports of their trending hashtags such as #RahulSpeaksToArnab, #ModiSpeaksToArnab, #AgressiveRahuBaba ,#GoogleCM, #GhantaAccheDin etcetera etcetra which were trending at the top worldwide, I was awestruck and while I was on my couch dreaming of meeting this dream team, suddenly I heard a loud voice saying THE NATION WANTS TO KNOW on my television and I was amazed to see his judgmental ways of coming to conclusion during his Noise News Hour and that is when I decided to send my CV to Mr. Arnyab for the job in Times Now so that I can provide them the creative hashtags to trend worldwide. I am planning to take a selfie with Mr. Arnyab which will be re-tweeted more than Ellen Degeneres’ selfie.”

Faking news reporter had to disconnect the call in the middle of the conversation as the reporter felt that Arnab’s soul has entered Jack’s body as he was talking too much.

When the report of Jack Dorsey joining Times Now broke out, topics like #JackWorksForArnab, #JackPaidMediawala started trending on twitter, this made a huge impact on Jack and he decided to change his name. Sources close to Faking news said he has contacted Bejan Daruwalla to provide numerological, astrological calculations to choose names between Jack Goswami or Arnab Dorsey.

Meanwhile Justice Katju has offered to prepare affidavit for the name change and the Notary’s signature will be done by Justice Ganguly.