Eager to tap on popularity of the relentless sloganeering of popular news anchors during weekdays on prime time, T-Series will soon launch ‘when will you resign?’ CD. This will be for the benefit of the viewers of news channels who miss the cacophony even during weekends when the over-the-top news anchors are not be seen on the idiot box.
Seen as a tribute to the constant bombarding of messaging in form of news, the album will have 108 peaceful chants of ‘when will you resign?’ as its lead mantra. It will also feature 108 powerful recitals of ‘the nation wants to know’, and ‘now apologise’.
The company has apparently approached popular singer Yo Y o Honey Singh to lend his voice for the high-pitched songs. Since the music album would be targeted at people of all ages, the producers may request Yo Y o to avoid expletives like ‘mother f***’ and ‘ass***’, especially when singing raging mantras like ‘don’t you dare talk to me like that’ and ‘you have cheated the people of the country’.
The music company is expecting huge sales figures from the production. The album is getting good reviews even before its release.
Amit, an avid fan of 9 pm prime time ‘The Noisehour’ is ecstatic at hearing the news and can’t wait to get his hands on the album. “Wow. I mean just wow. Now, I can listen to the peaceful noise even on the weekends. All these days, I had to browse the repeat shows on the internet. Now, I can just play this CD and relax for hours!”
Moreover the liberals in the country too have given a thumbs-up to the album, saying the album doesn’t affect the secular fabric of the country since people of all religion can enjoy the mantras on the CD.
The music production is also planning a sequel to the album, with the main song titled ‘No 1 news channel’, a continual loop of about an hour. The album will also feature subordinate songs titled, ‘Lutyen’s journalism’, ‘don’t teach me journalism’ and ‘selfie journalism’ sung in a similar endless mantra-style.
(Originally published in Right to Laughter. Amrut Thobbi is an editor by profession, satirist by heart and useless as a person. You can follow him at @amrutti on Twitter or Amrut Thobbi on Facebook. He blogs here)