Monday, 21st August, 2017

RJD to publish TRP ratings giving zero viewership to Times Now

15, May 2014 By Hemant Bijapurkar

In accord with the latest exit poll run by times now giving zero seats to the regional party in Bihar, the RJD supremo has directed his son (the Hero Honda showroom one) and Pankaj Jha (One of the few guys in RJD knowing what TRP’s are) to dole out a one of a kind TRP rating giving zero viewership to Times Now and to give majority chunk to Sardesai’s CNN IBN.

Lalu Prasad Yadav
Hamse panga lega?”

When asked how he plans to justify such ratings, Laloo justified that the TRP’s comprise of the ratings given only to the news channels and which Budbak thinks that Times Now is a “News Channel”.

And when the correspondent himself interviewed a couple of newshour viewers they said they actually weren’t aware that all these years they were watching news or anything remotely associated with it. “Yaar I thought that chashma wala banda and that dadhi aur kam baal wala were running some sort of karaoke with just more noise”.

Another one actually justified his viewing by saying that just as the Shorkars left their neighbourhood some time last year they were robbed of their favourite pass time of listening to the so called ‘meaningful and constructive debate’ and then discovered Newshour.

And now with reports coming out rubbishing the Gujarat model which allegedly have a sample size of as low as 5 subjects and no one questioning their credibility and in fact even glorifying it, Laloo is very confident about his rating’s success.

When pointed out that the exit polls have a statistical basis he snapped, “Now which person can actually make out any logic!! And now people have even declared the whole poll as fake.”

This rating will reportedly be brought in on the 15th so as to quench the long thirst of other news channels to pounce on times now and they will get something more meaningful to debate as compared to the modi wave discussion.

P.S. For all the guys wondering about your neighbours arguing in English, relax they probably are just watching Times Now on full volume.