Saturday, 25th March, 2017

People want Arnab Goswami to become speaker and moderate debates in parliament

05, Dec 2016 By natasha

Since the beginning of the winter session, the parliament seems to have more adjourned days than not. With ministers fighting over petty issues, they waste crores of tax payers money, every time they adjourn the house. Tired of this and starved of debates between politicians, people now want Arnab Goswami to be speaker of the Lok Sabha and Rajya Sabha.

The parliament is yet to have a civilized debate on demonetization. Mamata Banerjee’s party TMC releases a list of everyone who wants to kill her in every session of the parliament. The list is getting longer than the population of India and China combined.

First time after independence, Indian parliament speaker will only be speaking in all sessions.
First time after independence, Indian parliament speaker will only be speaking in all sessions.

A group of people from all over the country are protesting outside Lok Sabha, demanding Arnab Goswami be made the speaker. One such protestor said, “We miss those days when Arnab used to make our hated politicians behave like kids being scolded by their teacher. They would keep giving senseless excuses and explanations and he would counter them all with his loud voice. They would beg for mercy, pray that they aren’t questioned on their scams, try to change the topic and blame someone else, and he would always see through it. Seeing politicians who looted our country for years fumble miserably in front of The Nation’s voice, was the best part of my day. The silence from my TV screen at primetime everyday is driving me insane. We need Arnab Goswami as the speaker, he must moderate these senseless Lok Sabha debates, we need that entertainment in our lives!”

Another protestor said, “Even when Arnab Goswami was still the Times Now editor, his word carried more weightage than the supreme court. Uss adalat se badi Arnab ki adalat thi.” The protestor then broke down and started sobbing in front of a life size Arnab Goswami cut out.

Arnab Goswami is used to moderating debates between so many screaming netas, 550 members of parliament will not be a challenge for him. We may see the Lok Sabha TV screen divided into 500+ parts with all the MP’s faces in it, with Arnab Goswami simultaneously yelling at all of them.