Sunday, 25th February, 2018

Oxford University asks Salman Khurshid and Sagarika Ghose to return their degrees

19, Jul 2013 By dhakkadchora

LONDON: In a major embarrassment for Congress leader and Cabinet Minister of External Affairs Mr. Salman Khurshid; Oxford University spokesperson has announced in a press conference here that they want Salman Khurshid to return his Oxford degree to the university administration ASAP. University spokesperson has named another Indian Ms. Sagarika Ghose (journalist-CNN IBN) to do the same and return her degree as well.

This comes as a major blow for both Salman and Sagarika who have been very often criticised for their stupid comments and lack of intellect on twitter, interviews and just everywhere.

Oxford university spokesperson told reporters here, “We have been observing these two persons for almost 2 years now, and we believe this is the right time to disassociate ourselves from them. They only bring shame and embarrassment to our Oxford brand name! We have seen a sharp decline in the number of applicants to our various courses last year, and we believe it is only because of these two. They utter crap and non-sense everytime they open their mouth; to make it even worse, they start all their interviews and discussions by saying ‘when I was in Oxford’…bloody-hell… one of their professors in Oxford even tried to commit suicide last month! We tried reaching Ms Sagarika on twitter but she blocked us. Thanks to an anonymous journalist Mr Pagal Patrakar who has been consistently helping us in keeping a tab on Sagarika’s stupid comments and tweets’.

Both Salman and Sagarika have been given two weeks to return their degrees to the Oxford University. When we tried contacting Sagarika, we were told that she is busy buying Sarees in Paris for her daily stand-up comedy act…err…’Face the people’ show.

‘Oxford-educated’ Salman Khurshid had this to say (in his American accent) “It is not clear why it happened. I think they are not offering us that background, and we are not asking for that background. I did not look for clarity. We are not even ready with our analysis of why it happened”. He added “it is not very helpful at this stage to apportion blame between them and us, and it will only take away from the sense of relief and satisfaction that it was resolved in time not to upset the apple cart of what is going on, which is far more important”.

Our reporter and the entire team could not understand anything what he said or what he meant. If you could make any sense out of it, please write to us @fakingnews.

 –  @Jiro_Baat