In a landmark decision, the popular News channel, Times Now, following much deliberation has decided to change its popular and India’s supposed number one program Newshour’s name to Goswamihour.
The Public Relations Team of Times Now unveiled the bold new name at a relaunch party held at the Mumbai channel’s headquarters informing invited alleged “poor examples of journalists when compared to Arnab” that many names had been meticulously analysed before the final decision was made.
“Times Now takes its role as a genuine Journalism channel extremely seriously” Arnabi Gossipwami, Arnab’s personal Public Relations Specialist who changed her name so as to display her loyalty to her boss, told Faking News Journalists.
“We toyed with many possible names for the loved news segment but nothing seemed to capture the opulence of Goswami ji” Arnabi explained. “Some of the names that were close to making the cut included ‘Arnab talks over everyone else’, ‘Arnab debates, scratch that – Arnab argues for no apparent reason’, ‘Arnab deafens a nation’, ‘Arnab Interviews Arnab’, ‘Who needs news when you’ve got Arnab’, ‘Goswami guns down anyone else with his voice’, ‘It’s all about Arnab’ and many more”
When probed on the reasons for altering the title of the program, Faking News was informed that Times Now wished to align the show with the reality of the program rather than a falsified image.
“We don’t want to trick anyone into believing that they are watching a run of the mill unbiased news program”, Arnabi explained. “Who would want to watch a debate when you can watch Arnab ji giving a speech anyway?”
Faking News interviewed some politicians who have been famously burned on the segment via Arnab’s infamous tirades about their thoughts on the name change, the general consensus being one of satisfaction.
“I personally think it’s a wonderful idea”, one famous MP who chooses to remain anonymous said. “At least this way, we government representatives know what we are getting into! Now I will not feel obliged to answer any of Arnab’s khatarnak questions or defend my honour in front of him. I can just say ‘no comment’ and sit back and enjoy the show as he talks and talks and talks!”
Faking News attempted to contact Arnab but our journalist’s pre-paid mobile charge ran out before we could get a word in to ask him a question.