Vexed by continuously declining revenues, traffic and more importantly TRPs, all the media tycoons of A to Z news TV congregated at Jantar Mantar to demand shutdown of what they consider is molding the reader’s brains, the web portal fakingnews.firstpost.com.
They have already filed a lawsuit in SC. Citing reasons such as the readers are more easily given into slapstick humour tricks and gimmicks of highly morphed news and questioning ethics of raising more revenues than all of them put together by publishing fake news, the media tycoons staged a protest. Here are some reactions:
INDIA TV trying hard to explain: “Common man!! Shut down that portal. There is no banality, no repeated news. They don’t even have a bald host and a show like Aap Ki Adaalat, which indicts only to absolve at the end. Instead they use cheap tricks like imagination, creativity and others to woo away our viewers.”
AAJ TAK with arrogance: “Man!! They ain’t TEZ like us. Neither do they have any special Saas-Bahu coverage round the clock. Instead they are a bunch of young guys focussed on Desh ki Bahu and Damaad, if you know what I mean.”
NDTV with confidence that comes only from back-up from government: “This portal should be taken down because its anti-Congress, err anti-government we mean. Almost every article is dedicated to Congress leaders. May be a set up of opposition parties.”
DD NEWS with confusion written all over its face: “I don’t know man. These people just asked me come by. And please what is this Internet news? Will someone please tell me what century are we in?”
ZEE NEWS thunders: “We will do a sting operation and hold this portal to ransom. We can very well adapt extortionate methods to get what we want and this needs no proof.”
ABP TV scoffs: “They can’t keep you ahead like us. We do so only by saying aapko rakhe aage!! We believe in repeatedly playing the same stories over and over again so that you never forget and never have to face embarrassment. We believe we are like Diggy and our viewers are like our Yuvraaj.”
One well known media face from Dhanbad commented, “Saala jab tak is desh mein fakingnews hai, logan qtiya bante rahenge. Sabke dimaag mein apna apna fakingnews chal raha hain aur sab apne aape ko uska paagal patrakaar boojhte hain (Till fakingnews exists in this nation, the people will be fooled. Everyone has his own fakingnews going on in his head and thinks he is the pagal patrakar).”
Reacting back to this above mentioned person in his own GoW style, FakingNews released a statement, “Beta tumse naa ho paayega. Tumhre lakshan nahi dikh rahe humko (Son you will fail. You just don’t seem like doing it).”
Back at the ground zero suddenly, the crowd grabs a man, takes off his make up and thunders, “You are not one of us. What are you doing here? Making fun of us!”
The man with a sheepish smile “Err!! I was just trying to find some satire, some spoof you know. Its good and I think I’m done with my job. So..” grabbing back his belongings he manages to escape with entire mob chasing him away.