Monday, 23rd October, 2017

New improved perfect opinion poll

04, Apr 2014 By athakkali

Given the disparaging comments that opinion polls have attracted in recent times, a leading agency in the field of conducting such polls has invented a fool proof method to ensure zero errors.

Given the opposition to opinion polls from various political parties who have threatened to approach the Supreme Court to ban such exercises in the future it was felt that urgent steps needed to be taken so that the livelihood of millions of people involved in conducting polls may be saved.

There was also severe pressure being applied by the media houses on the poll agencies to give accurate predictions as such shows are a sure shot revenue stream for the channels and publications.

NPNTV who are pioneers in conducting Opinion Polls in India have decided that henceforth the predictions and forcast etc will be telecast/published after the election results are declared.

Speaking exclusively  to Faking News reporter @aThakkali, Shennoy Rai of NPNTV (No Poll No Television) said that it was time to rescue the Opinion Poll industry from the doldrums it finds itself in. Announcing predictions after the final vote is counted and the results are declared by the Election Commission will ensure 100% accuracy.

Mr.Rai added that given the TRP of Opinion Poll based shows and the resultant excitement among advertisers, it was imperative to safeguard the revenue stream. “Opinion Poll based shows are more popular than even saas-bahu serials and with the onset of election season, the advertising rates have already overtaken the Khan Movie premier or the IPL on TV” said Mr.Rai. The other important reason given for salvaging the Opinion Polls was the boycott of such shows by Congress Party. “While the other parties brought in drama, emotions, anger etc during such shows, the lack of Congress participation meant that the viewers had no comic relief” said he. “This will also restore the credibility of this nascent industry in India. “This new system will completely eliminate ‘Paid Poll results’ thereby regaining the confidence of the readers and viewers.” Mr.Rai concluded.

Predictably BJP has not taken to this new mode of Opinion Polls kindly. “This is surely undemocratic! How can the ignorant voters of India be informed about whom to vote for unless they are guided by Opinion Polls” said a visibly angry BJP spokesman Mr.Ravi Shankar Prasad. “Given the strict watch being kept on poll expenses by the EC, we were relying on Opinion Polls to drive home the ‘independent’ views to help educate the voters on whom to vote for” said an upset Mr.Prasad.

As expected the move was welcomed by the Congress. Speaking to Faking News, Senior Congress leader Mr.Digvijay Singh Said “This is a very good decision. After all isn’t the Indian Election itself  the world largest Opinion Poll wherein the voters give their opinion vide a ballot. The Congress party’s view on opinion poll is that accuracy is non negotiable and must be achieved at all cost. Inaccurate Polls which show the BJP winning must not be permitted” On being asked whom will the Congress lay the blame on if it loses in the General Elections despite this New Improved Perfect Opinion Poll model Mr.Singh said ” The RSS which has filled the Election Commission with moles who have tampered the EVMs”