Sunday, 22nd April, 2018

NDTV's secret plans for NAMO-TV exposed

16, Jun 2014 By Desi Politicker

In a major development, our investigative division has discovered secret documents at NDTV titled NAMO-TV. This led to wild speculation that NDTV is launching a channel about Narendra Modi.

While we assigned a team of analysts to review the documents, news of this discovery got out and reactions started coming in from different quarters. Opinion was divided about whether the channel would be for or anti-Modi.

Narendra Modi

Sagarika Ghose, in her extremely nauseating nasal voice said “The media has a social responsibility and should not forget India’s Ganga-Jamuni tehzeeeeb. If NDTV is truly secular, they should also launch a channel about Osama Bin Laden or at least about Digvijaya Singh.”

Mani Shankar Aiyer took offense at the thought, but made an eloquent suggestion saying  “NDTV is among the leading lights of the subcontinent. I invite them to start a channel about making chai instead.”

Arnab Goswami did not judge the decision for a change. Neither did he interrupt our journalist. He was visibly shaken and blurted “The nation wants to know… Damn! Why was I not the first one to think about this?”

Subramaniam Swamy seemed enthused when he heard about this and remarked,”I am an esteeemed and  learned man, as my experience at Harvard proves. I will now write an  article about why all media houses that do not have NaMo coverage should be disenfranchised.”

Meanwhile, our analysts completed their review of the secret documents, which turned out the be a part of NDTV’s internal style guide. They learnt that NAMO TV actually stands for Never Allow Modi On TV, thereby ending all speculation about NDTV’s plans.