Tuesday, 22nd August, 2017

India TV sued by the Martian government for exposing their area 69

01, Nov 2014 By The Illusionist

New Delhi: After having solved all the mysteries known to mankind right from mermaids, aliens to the recent missing Malaysian plane incident. India TV seems to have landed up in a bit of trouble when its reporter took a giant leap towards solving extraterrestrial mysteries and reportedly breached the security of Area 69 on planet Mars.

Mars
Mars

The incident reportedly took place on Sunday when the dipping TRPs of India TV forced a loyal reporter to go inter-galactic and breach security of a highly classified location on Mars, better known as Area 69. The reporter desired to uncover all the classified Martian secrets before ISRO and NASA could do so and create sensation of solving inter galaxy mysteries and making India TV the number one channel in the whole milky way. The news spread like wild fire and the gross misconduct was immediately reported to “The Guardians of the galaxy” who were in a meeting with Thanos. The Guardians of the galaxy said that they were the guardians of Marvel’s cinematic universe and that they had nothing to do with this universe.

Thankfully Michael bay came to rescue and with the help of his transformers seized the classified footage and handed it over to James Cameroon who was working on a sequel of Avatar named “Ram avatar” which was being filmed on Mars.

The reporter is rumored to have watched “Interstellar” on the previous night which confused him so much that he decided to take a sneak peek on Mars and get some respite from the Nolan hangover. On the other hand Christopher Nolan has called in for his lawyer and is reportedly going to sue the reporter because he feels it is his responsibility to show such marvels of the universe to mankind and was particularly furious that it was so simple that it would be understood by everyone.

Incidentally the reporter has been revealed to be a distant cousin of Rahul Gandhi and was the same person who had reported that an Indian satellite had found water and dolphins on moon 2 years back. Later that satellite was found in Arabian sea by the Indian navy.

The Martian government has taken this security breach very seriously and said that they would cut down all the strategic ties and not cooperate with India over “swaach mars abhiyan”. ISRO spokesperson has severely admonished India TV and appealed to all the TV viewers to watch “Na aana is des lado” and “C.I.D” instead of India TV.

This horrific incident also drew flak from Bollywood where several intellectual directors like Prabhu Deva and Sajid Khan were seen openly criticizing India TV and its unscrupulous business tactics over ethics. Particularly Rakesh Roshan was in distress as his next sequel to “Krissh” was based on Mars. It is rumoured that he has decided to cast Shakti kapoor as the main protagonist instead of Hritik Roshan as it has been scientifically proven that Shati kapoor’s “Aauu” has much more vibrations than “Om”. This way he can emerge as a natural superhero and with his “Aauu” can contact aliens light years away.

Meanwhile Rajat Sharma (owner of India TV) was unavailable for comment as he had gone to court with his father to take part in “Baap ki adalat”.