Friday, 20th April, 2018

How Arnab started a soup revolution in India (Part 1)

07, Jun 2014 By Andy

Reports have confirmed that Arnab Goswami had attended the annual convention of Shaolin monks in Beijing, China. Unreliable sources have confirmed that it was indeed Arnab Goswami and not a look alike from a rival channel who attended the annual event.

arnab goswami
“I am the king”

Goswami delivered a short speech on the secrets of being calm and relaxed. (Sources have revealed Arnab stayed back as he was told that he’d be offered another bowl of soup if he stayed beyond 9pm missing his show).

Excerpts from the interaction:

Monk Chinzu: Mr Goswami 你感觉如何(monk speaking in Chinese) ?

Arnab: Sorry I can’t understand what your are saying Mr Monk, can you speak in English?

Monk Cinzu: Yes I speak English, but whenever someone asks you a question on your show you say you cannot understand. I thought English was the problem, so I asked in Chinese. (Other monks giggle)

Arnab: Don’t try to act smart Mr Monk. Please ask questions which are relevant to the topic of interaction, I will not allow you deviate from focus of our interaction.

Monk Chinzu: Ok Mr Goswami, I want to ask how you get to know what the whole nation is thinking, can you please teach us the technique? It would be very useful for us, we hardly move out of the temple.

Arnab: I cannot understand what you’re saying.

Monk Chinzu: I’m not surprised, listen Mr Goswami.

Arnab: You listen first.

Monk Cinzu : Yes Mr Goswami speak.

Arnab: Mr Monk do you know the viewership of my show is more than the population of your country and my country put together ?

Monk Chinzu: But what does that have to do with my question? I was asking….

Arnab (interrupting): Mr Monk please let me make my point first; you will speak when your turn comes. As I was saying there are more people watching my show then the number of hairs on your head.

Monk Chinzu: But sir, I’m bald.

Arnab: Whose fault is it?

Monk Chinzu: What?

Arnab: I’ m asking you a simple question. Whose fault is it? The nation wants to know who is responsible for this.

Monk Chinzu: I think the interaction is going nowe…..

Arnab: Please answer me first

Monk Chinzu: But..

Arnab: Answer me Mr Monk

Monk Chinzu: But…

Arnab: Mr Monk the nation wants to know?

Monk Chinzu: Which nation wants to know, can you clearly specify?

Arnab: We are telecasting live to 144 plus countries at the moment, your question is invalid and misdirecting.

(Soup Arrives)

Arnab: What soup is this?

Monk Chinzu: See it has 12 kinds of vegetables and there is…..

Arnab: So call it vegetable soup; why do you have to complicate everything? Anyways it’s really good. I think I will have to start a new show, soup with Arnab, it will help us cover the audiences watching Coffee with Karan.

Monk Chinzu: Nice idea but there is a similar show already running on your channel.

Arnab: What?

Monk Chinzu: That show where you speak for most of the time, and then others speak in the background while you continue to speak. The show is called Soup Hour, right?

Arnab: You mean The Newshour?

Monk Chinzu using his mystical powers finds out that having soup makes Arnab extremely calm and friendly.

Monk Chinzu: It’s more or less the same.

Arnab: Yeah Bro, good joke.

Monk Cinzu: I’m serious.

Arnab: Cool! Hey bro please give me a minute to have the soup first.

Meanwhile all the monks including Chinzu had left the room. They rushed to the TV room to watch China’s got talent.

Six months later…….(to be continued)