Other day, our reporter Special was there in Chennai on a mission impossible operation, to understand and analyze Karunanidhi’s family forest. (“Tree” is a too simple word to use for this complex context) Accidentally, he bumped into Arnab Goswamy and Subramanian Swamy.
Well placed divine sources say, they are the cousins of the same cousins, who are cousins of their cousins in the previous birth. Both Swamies were seen having a Kumbakonam degree filter coffee at Saravana Bhanvan in Mylapore, Chennai. Luck hits one when nothing else cares to hit (after all, that’s what one calls luck) So, our reporter had the luxury of having a frankly speaking with Arnab Goswamy.
Before starting the interview, Arnab requested our reporter to sit in the far a way table so that he can freely shout at him. Respecting the tradition, custom, culture, secularism, communalism, subsidy and finally not the least democracy of news hour, Special took a different table and started his conversation with Arnab.
Special : Hi ARNAB! (please mind the tone, he was shouting at top of his voice)
Arnab: Allegation against allegation I am not interested.
Special : I just want to congratulate you that you are the Arnab.
Arnab : India has changed, and we want answers.
Special : What has changed Arnab, can you be more precise.
Arnab : Oh please.. you know some thing, you know something, you know nothing.
Subramanian Swamy (interfered as expected) : Ha.. Ha.. Ha.. Ha..
Special : Arnab, I just want to ask you, what are you able to change with your shouting everyday ?
Arnab : Sanjay jhaa… let me tell you this.. I am off the view. I will tell you this, I will open the phone lines now, Sanjay jhaa.
Special : Don’t open anything now, for God’s sake, please tell me what did you change ?
Arnab : You should be ashamed of yourself. one sec.. one sec. one sec.. one sec. one sec.. one sec. (he was saying it for 3 mins). I want to summarize. (Taking a tissue paper into hand, recycled at Saravana Bhavan) In 2011 Feb 31, your party, your own party, in a party with party, when part of the party is parting, gave this statement against the same thing. Asking the camera to zoom in at that tissue to show the issue. (Thank your favourite God, that there was no camera with Special)
You will run out of questions… I will never run out of answers.
Special : (Thinking, Arnab soon will run out of paper as Saravana Bhavan puts only 3 tissues in each table, so with doubled confidence) I beg you please answer my direct question.
Arnab : I wont let you do it, whole country is watching. I wont let you do it.
Swamy : Ha.. Ha.. Ha.. Ha..
Special : I am just requesting you to answer my question, everyday you spoil all our dinners with your questions, please answer one for us, today. I promise you I wont spoil your filter coffee.
Arnab : What do you mean by dented and painted women. Mr.Mukharjee, What do you mean by dented and painted women. You are getting exposed tonight.
Special : !@@##$%#$#$#$^#$@@#$
Arnab : What do you mean by dented and painted women.
Arnab (Again): It doesn’t matter. it doesn’t matter Meenaakshi. I know everything. why don’t you understand this.. why don’t you understand this.. why don’t you have the courage tonight to accept that you don’t have courage. With respect, I want to tell you, I want to tell you Meenakshi, and today to the nation, that you are on a back foot, your line of argument is stupid.
(Special recollects quickly, when Arnab starts talking real non-sense, it means you are making some sense)
Special : True Arnab, we are the fools, stupids and in addition idiots, that’s why we are watching you, every night. Forget about changing a damn, just answer me this, why don’t you let any panelist to tell his/her view. When you really think that you have a valid point, why don’t you give them a chance to respond, just that.
Arnab: Never ever, ever, ever, ever ever, ever, ever, ever again, ask this.
Swamy : Ha.. Ha.. Ha.. Ha..
Special ran out from Sarvana Bhavan, without paying his bill for the tumbler (don’t dare to call it a glass in Chennai) of hot water. In the background there was a sound from the sky with none other than Rajni sir’s voice, both in Tamil and then dubbed version in Telugu, “Arnab doesn’t answer questions, but questions answer Arnab”.