Monday, 21st August, 2017

Elections 2019 to be held between news channels as political parties opt for a break

22, May 2017 By Beer & Biryani

New Delhi: Looking at the rise in competition among news channels and their irresistable urge to compare with each other, the Election Commission has decided to dump political parties and instead have news channels compete for governance in the upcoming Lok Sabha elections in 2019.

The new crusaders of India
The new crusaders of India

The superiority complex among news channels is said to have led to such a drastic decision by the EC. While channels are cooking up data to prove that they are in fact the real number one, they’ve already started worrying about 2019 election campaigning.

“Their channel logos will be their election symbols. If they don’t nominate anyone specifically, the default option for prime ministerial candidate would be their editor-in-chief”, said Mr.Nasim Zaidi, the current chief election commissioner.

Journalists with an aim of making big in politics have already started negotiating with current political bigwigs to manage their news channels as they start getting busy with their pre-campaign rehearsals.

“You know what content to show, and we know what changes to make in this country”, journalist Mr. Goswamy said referring to politicians, as he welcomed Election Commission’s decision.

As per our sources, the names of news channels could also be changing pretty soon. “It won’t be a surprise if we see BJP TV, Congress TV, AAP TV or RJD TV in the coming few days, given that we will soon have NDTV (M) Party,  TOI Party or Nationalist Republican Party(NRP)”, said our regular secret source who wanted to remain unnamed like everytime.