Tuesday, 20th February, 2018

CIA recruits Arnab Goswami, Indian politicians party all night

09, Feb 2013 By Chinmay

In a major move that could affect the demographics of India every weekdays at 9 pm, the US intelligence agency CIA has recruited Arnab Goswami as their new chief interrogator.

“Mr.  Ornab Goswami” as he was often called fondly by the guests at the Newshour, will henceforth be called “Agent Arnab”. This move has seen very contrasting reactions all over the world underlining the popularity of Agent Arnab a.k.a Arnab Goswami.

Confirming the news the Times Now group very disappointingly  said that losing Arnab to CIA was a very big blow to Narendra Modi to the channel. Reports have come in since then that the pay package offered to Agent Arnab at CIA is 10 times of what he was offered at Times Now, which in itself was a very astronomical figure.

Arnab’s bigger role?

Confirming this CIA director from Langley told Faking News that Agent Arnab’s strong interrogating techniques, often relentless, till the subject accepted his crime, tilted the job in his favour over a host of other aspirants who were experienced in the field of interrogation.

Rumors are also doing the rounds that Agent Arnab did not allow the Director of CIA to speak during the interview, which was never ever seen before at CIA headquarters which also reportedly impressed the US President.

Elsewhere in India, hearing this piece of news, host of Indian politicians cutting across party lines heaved a collective sigh of relief and immediately a celebration was planned which was exclusive for all the politicians who were brought to  their knees on The Newshour every night.

Also invited were the retired pakistani army officers who had suffered Agent Arnab’s onslaught on the newshour. At the party, politicians forgetting their political differences danced all night hand-in-hand.

Leading from the front was Mr. Abhijit Mukherjee, who in the heat of the moment announced free beer to everybody and till now is seen regretting that decision. Last seen he was repeatedly seen saying “I apologise” to his wallet.

Also there was another party organized collectively by the rival news channels where the pseudo-secularists also gathered in large numbers to celebrate the new job of Agent Arnab. Elsewhere the Al-Qaeda and the mexican drug lords have started panicking with the prospect of being interrogated by Agent Arnab if caught by the CIA.

Protests were however observed near India Gate where thousands of Indians demanded Agent Arnab to be stopped and be recruited by RAW so the brain-drain to the US stops once and for all. Huge placards of ‘ THE NATION WANTS TO KNOW HOW CAN ARNAB LEAVE INDIA’ were seen at the India Gate.