Saturday, 23rd September, 2017

Arvind Kejriwal goes to bathroom in the night instead of morning

26, Jan 2014 By Toffee

In what can affect our nation’s progress disastrously, Arvind Kejriwal has reportedly gone to bathroom in the night instead of morning. The news was confirmed by eye-witnesses who watched Arvind Kejriwal in balcony washing hands with liquid handwash during the wee hours of the night.

“As soon as I saw him in balcony washing his left hand, I understood that he came out of bathroom and called to the reporter of CNN-IBN immediately. I recorded the act of his washing hands meanwhile,” said an ecstatic eye-witness-cum-neighbor to the CNN-IBN reporter. The reporter got the footage and sent it to the head office almost immediately. Rajdeep Sardesai, Editor in chief, CNN-IBN began the morning news with Arvind Kejriwal’s suspicious act of going to bathroom late in the night without even any formal pleasantries.

Playing the video given by the eye-witness repeatedly on TV, he said proudly that they were the only channel to have the raw footage. Very soon, other news channels picked up and started broadcasting the news item. Twitterrati, like hungry wolves, pounced upon this scandal and began tweeting cynically hilarious tweets. In no time, the hashtag #YoArvindKejriwalBathroom started trending on twitter. Almost all day, twitter was abuzz with funny tweets on Kejriwal, and ferocious battles of words were fought between the  AAP supporters and opposers.

Arnab Goswami, the only journalist-cum-police-cum-lawyer-cum-judge in India began the discussion on the Newshour saying,  “Why did Arvind kejriwal go to bathroom in the night? The nation wants to know the answer.” After speaking nonstop for about 10 minutes to give the audience an overview of the topic that was going to be discussed, he gave a chance to the BJP spokesperson to speak for a minute.

The BJP spokesperson beamed and said, “We have always been telling that AAP is the B-team of Congress. All congress leaders go to bathroom in the night. Arvind Kejriwal is also doing the same. Hence it is proved. Also, Arvind was spotted washing his left hand with liquid hand wash and not RIN soap, which proves another point that he is not an AAM aadmi and is fooling the people of this country.”

When Yogendra Yadav, the spokesperson of AAP finally got the chance to speak almost at the end of the show, he said calmly, “You can’t  telecast a show on a topic like this for one hour. This is sheer wastage of media’s time and is utterly unnecessary. You could have…”

But before Yogendra Yadav could complete his sentence, Arnab interrupted him and said, “Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever tell me what I should telecast on my news channel. You understand?”

When Arnab paused for a second, Yogendra Yadav tried to give an explanation, but he was cut again and Arnab repeated the ‘never EverToThePowerof10’ again. As usual, the newshour ended without any logical conclusion and the nation still didn’t know the Answer.

Twitterati too moved on with usual jokes and puns, relieved that they did their part in serving the nation by insulting Arvind Kejriwal. They slept blissfully with the hope that media would come with new fodder on AAP the next day.

Our Faking News reporter, who left his job at an IT company where he was team lead, was insanely happy. He sent a message on whatsapp to all his erstwhile team members, “I had to leave my job because you complained of my micromanagement to the HR. Just look at the great media circus in India and understand the term Nano Management. I was at least only Mirco Managing.”