Saturday, 25th March, 2017

Arnab Goswami gets 'Y' level security, his panelists wonder why, say his voice is security enough

17, Oct 2016 By natasha

Mumbai. Arnab Goswami, the nation’s favourite journalist, gets a security detail of around 20 guards after he received threats from terrorists across the border, because of his comments against them (terrorists are unhappy because of negative comments?) on his show. His panelists and fans believe it is quite unnecessary, because of the fear he can incite in anyone’s heart. Brave men shiver when Arnab Goswami invites them to his show. Fearless men have broken down and sobbed just listening to his voice. THE NATION’s voice is considered invincible, his voice strikes fear in the hearts of politicians and elevated blood pressure in the hearts of his viewers.

When a terrorist will try to sneak into Mr. Goswami’s house to kill him, this is what will happen-

Terrorist- *hoists gun up*

That look of Arnab Goswami: Scaring hell out of any damn terrorist!
That look of Arnab Goswami: Scaring hell out of any damn terrorist!

Arnab Goswami- MR. TERRORIST, WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? WHO ARE YOU TO THREATEN THE VOICE OF THE NATION? YES, MR. TERRORIST? WHY DO YOU LOOK SO CONFUSED? I ASKED YOU A QUESTION. WHO IS YOUR BOSS? HOW MUCH ARE YOU PAID? WHY ARE YOU SO SILENT NOW?

Terrorist- Uh I..

Arnab Goswami- DON’T TRY TO DODGE MY QUESTION MR. TERRORIST. WHO ARE YOU? WHICH COUNTRY ARE YOU FROM? WHO GAVE YOU THAT GUN? HOW MUCH DID YOU GET IN YOUR EIGHTH GRADE FINAL EXAM?

Terrorist- Uh I didn’t go to school-

Arnab Goswami- WHY ARE YOU DODGING ALL MY QUESTIONS? I ASKED YOU A SIMPLE QUESTION MR. TERRORIST, I EXPECT AN ANSWER. THE NATION DEMANDS TO KNOW!

The Nation- Uh Arnab I think you should run-

Arnab Goswami- MS. NATION, PLEASE DO NOT INTERRUPT ME. I REPEAT, DO NOT TRY TO INTERRUPT ME WHILE I EFFECTIVELY ANNIHILATE QUESTION MR TERRORIST.

Terrorist- You *#℅@%*$, let me do my job-

Arnab Goswami- MR. TERRORIST, I WILL NOT TOLERATE SUCH LANGUAGE ON MY SHOW. I ASKED YOU A QUESTION AND I EXPECT A CIVIL RESPONSE. SINCE YOU’VE RESORTED TO USING ABUSIVE LANGUAGE, I WILL HAVE TO ASK YOU TO PLEASE LEAVE.

Terrorist- *breaks down in tears and runs away*