Thursday, 26th April, 2018

After Telangana, demand for carving out Nation from India grows

31, Jul 2013 By Bakar King

In a surprising turn of events, there has been a growing demand for carving out Nation from India after the Andhra split. It has been led by media houses such as NDTV and CNN-IBN. Inspired by the congress leaders from Vidharba this demand has been put forward to none other than Sonia Gandhi.

NDTV and CNN-IBN who are rival media houses in the eyes of the country have categorically stated in the letter that Arnab Goswami represents the nation without any consent of her.

Barkha Dutt and Rajdeep Sardesai decided to go ahead with the proposal once they got the green signal from Rahul Gandhi. They had asked him to suggest ways to curb the increasing popularity of Arnab Goswami, in reply Rahul asked them the same question. After much thought process at an Italian restaurant in New Delhi, Rajdeep had come up with an idea to write a letter to Madam ji stating the reasons.

The letter states that Arnab has no right to represent the Nation because he has not taken a consent from her. The letter also states that due to increasing popularity of Times Now, no one watches the Bharat Nirman ads on NDTV and CNN-IBN . Hence they have urgently asked for carving out the nation from India. If required it must be done through an ordinance. The nation according to them must only include the North Eastern states, since they do not have any TAM meters.

Through sources it has been revealed that a mutual consent has been reached. While Sonia Gandhi has agreed to their demand, both the media houses would have to recruit Sanjay Jha for the 9 PM and 10 PM slot at NDTV and CNN-IBN respectively. When contacted Sanjay Jha said that Sonia Gandhi was unhappy and carving out nation was important since minorities had no say. He went on to say that Congress has a secular mindset unlike Narendra Modi (Why he said that is still being understood).

Post decision NDTV ran a headline “In a major blow to Narendra Modi Times Now, nation is split from India” whereas CNN-IBN ran the breaking news ” India gets rescued from Saffron Arnab’s terror.

NDTV and CNN-IBN invited the prime minister for a cake cutting ceremony and had asked him to say two words.

In his trademark style he said “THEEK HAI !!” (without a blink of the eye).