Delhi( 15 Aug 2015) : It has been a year since Arvind Kejriwal, Prime Minister of India, sent all the media people into the jail, which was celebrated by the Press Council Chairman Punya Prasoon Bajpai as “Bahut Krantikaari, Bahut Hi Krantikaari”.
After bribing the With the help of sycophantic pro-AAP journalists, our reporter got hold of the jails in which the famous ex-news channel journos are locked up. Not disclosing the location of the jails, we bring to you a round up of what each one of them is doing inside the jail.
Siddarth Varadarajan: He was seen plastering news cuts from newspapers, detailing what Modi is doing. When asked why, he said, “Modi is planning for something bad for media people. He is planning to send all media people to jail.” When replied that he is now in jail, he replied, “No, this jail is secular. I might be sent out to Hindu Nazi fascist communal world outside. I’m scared of saffron”. He was also involved in enticing the secular prisoners by talking about 2002 Gujarat riots daily to them. He still believes that Kejriwal and Modi did a Face-Off and it is Modi, who is having Kejriwal face and unleashing his anger on the media.
Nidhi Razdan: She was seen talking to British and US prisoners about how controversial Narendra Modi is, and how did their countries met him shamelessly. She once got fever due to epidemic flu and she said that it is the cold wind from Gujarat that made her ill and it is a conspiracy by Modi to keep media under suppression. She was seen organising a boring “Left-Right-Centre of Prison” discussion in play rooms, where she was discussing the different issues that plagues the jail and how RSS is reason for it.
Karan Thapar: Whenever he goes and sits with any other person to talk, the person gets up in the middle and walks out. He is feeling very lonely inside the jail and is always attacked by Modi fans and Amma fans. Fellow inmates think of him as senior citizen and give him extra chicken piece on special occasions. He is now organising, “The Jail’s Advocate” series in the prison.
Rajdeep Sardesai: Was seen proselytising the inmates in the jail that Kejriwal had sent them on a vacation and Aam Aadmi party is always better than the racist communal fascist media-hounding BJP and Modi. In the absence of Twitter, he is now seen scribbling in the jail walls in less than 140 characters. The recent one was ‘Had a chat with Old Monk to cure my depression. As the great CLRI James said “What do they know of Kejriwal who only Kejriwal know”‘. The aam aadmis who were working as jailors, got shocked by the mention of alcohol in the jail and thrashed Sardesai inquiring about smuggling. But nobody listened to him repeatedly crying that his next cell person is an old monk.
Sagarika Ghose: She was seen fighting against the InterCell Hindus in the prison. Whenever she sees any hindu women, she gets mad and shouts at the jailors to take them away. She strongly believes that this jail is all a setup and they are actually tortured by Narendra Modi and his zombie clan of
aam aadmis Internet Hindus. When in normal mood, she conducts “Face the Station” in which she discusses about how to conduct oneself at Police station.
Barkha Dutt: The host of “We the Prisoners” in the jail, Barkha is very busy in showing the loopholes in jail to the fellow inmates from Pakistan. She is also helping Pakistani inmates to kill Indian prisoners by sharing the location of their cells. She was caught into a dispute between two senior prisoners for letting the whole jail know that one of that prisoner called the other one “dehati aurat” for telling everything to the jailors.
As these media people actually helped Aam Aadmi Party and Arvind Kejriwal to rise to power, his highness always right uncorrupt aam aadmi Arvind Kejriwal has given them some comforts in the jail (Their only harsh task is to edit and correct the spelling mistakes in the reports and speech papers prepared by Information Broadcast & Education minister Ashutosh).
But, even after much bribes and begging, we were not able to see the cells of journos who were against his highness. Arnab Goswami, R Jagannathan, Niti Central journos were nowhere to be seen.
When asked, Minister of Foreign Affairs & Telecom Somnath Bharti said, “We raided their cells and found pro Modi papers. So, we have sent them to high security cells, where they were forced to sit in dharna and not eat for past four months. Only by dharna, they can realise our philosophy”.