Bangalore: A youth has allegedly conceded during a debate that his friend was right, causing uproar throughout the country. The incident occurred in May, but details have only just begun to surface. The name of the youth has been withheld on request and he is referred to in this article as “the accused”.
According to reports, a group of friends visited the food court of a popular mall in the city. Over lunch, they started a discussion which soon led to a heated debate. Eventually, the accused is alleged to have exclaimed “You know what? I hadn’t thought of it that way. I suppose you’re right.”
Faking News has got access to some records of investigations being carried out in the matter. According to our sources, the friend whose opinion the accused accepted has recorded his statement thus: “The topic of discussion was the impending Lok Sabha elections. No, wait … I think we were debating about global warming and climate change. I was arguing that there is no such thing as global warming. Uhm .. no .. hold on a sec .. I vaguely remember I was arguing that global warming is a real danger. Oh forget it. It doesn’t matter what side of the debate I was on; all that matters is that whatever I was saying, I was obviously right.”
“So, we were debating a topic that I don’t remember, and I held an opinion that I no longer care about. And here was my friend opposing me. At one particular point during the debate, I elaborated my views with a long speech, substantiated by (made-up) facts and figures. My friend, who was keenly listening, nodded in the end. I was expecting him to retort with his own (imaginary) figures. However, he left us stunned by softening his stand, turning around in the debate and actually accepting my point of view. In fact, one guy from our group actually fainted as a result of the shock!”
The Rashtriya Parampara Sanskriti Rakshana Manch (RPSRM) reacted to the news by calling for a nation-wide Bandh on Thursday. Several organizations cutting across religious and social boundaries have supported the Bandh call.
A spokesperson for RPSRM stated at a press conference: “For several millenia, we have had a tradition of debating for the sake of it. In fact, the very reason for debate is to satisfy one’s own ego and to prove the other person wrong. Such mundane things as facts and the truth have no place in a debate. All that matters is an ability to raise one’s own voice above all others’. The brazen manner in which the accused flayed all these values has insulted our parampara and sanskriti. We condemn it in the strongest possible terms and demand an unconditional apology from the accused. If no apology is received by Wednesday, then we will shut down the entire country on Thursday.”
Arnab Goswami is expected to break the sound barrier in condemning the accused on The NewsHour tonight. He was seen at the TimesNow studios screaming at no one in particular: “How can they call it a debate if anyone else is allowed to open their mouth? THE NATION WANTS TO KNOW!!! The accused did not get personal and he hit a new low when he even refrained from abusing the other people in the debate. This is a national disgrace.”